Sancho's Island

Lest the Circle Be Unbroken

2005-08-31T23:01:00.000-07:00

Well kids, its been fun, but the ride is over. Today is the day the music died. And by "music" I mean "this blog, Sancho's Island"; and by "died", I mean "became no longer updated." That's right, I am officially closing Sancho's Island. I have to admit, I'm a little said, it has been a fun ride. I learned a lot by having this site, and I think overall, it has been a great experience and I am very, very proud of all the work I have done here.

But, as in life, though some things end, others soon begin. In that vein, although this blog is now closed I am VERY excited to announce that I have just launched a new, even better, website.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I am proud to introduce: jeremydennis.net!

That's right, I have claimed my domain and made an official home for myself on the net. jeremydennis.net will be everything Sancho's Island was, and more. I decided to drop the Sancho moniker and expose myself to the world (have fun with that visual!). Having my own space on a server and my own domain name offer me a lot more freedom than being hosted on Blogger did. I am very eager to explore such freedoms. Head on over to my new site and take this new ride with me.

As my last thoughts on the Island, I want to thank the three or four of you that have read this site, especially Lisa. Without you guys, I really would have no reason to do this, and no motivation to reach for loftier web and writing goals. jeremydennis.net is an example of both such goals, and without you, I could have never got there.

Thanks Everyone!

Especially you, Lisa!

A Special Announcement

2005-08-09T11:09:00.000-07:00

This Blog will be closed until September 1st, 2005. On that day however, be prepared for big news. I'm talking Jabba The Hutt sized news.

See you Then!

Sancho

Weasley is my King

2005-07-09T18:01:00.000-07:00

Don't expect much activity here from me for the next day or so. I am about 250 pages away from finishing the 5th Harry Potter book. This is the first time I've read it. Yes, I've had it since it came out. No, I don't know why I'm such an idiot and haven't read it until now. Every drop of my free time (which isn't in excess) is going to be spent finishing it, so entertain yourselves.

Slaves to the Lens

2005-07-07T19:31:00.000-07:00

Today was a beautiful day, so to take advantage of such weather, me and Lisa decided it was time to head off to the park and indulge in our narcissistic photography fetish, and take pictures of ourselves. As usual, I hated all of the remotely serious ones of me. You can see the two decidedly non-seriously ones of me on my newly updated About Me page.

Lisa, on the other hand, is so photogentic that it's a shame she's not a celebrity, because even the paparazzi shots of her would look stellar.

Here are a few of my favorite shots of her. (Click on any of them to enlarge them.)

Now, I have always dabbled in photography as a bit of a hobby, but I am not that serious of a photographer. With a subject as good as Lisa however, she makes even my amateur snapshots look like art. Because that's what it's really all about.

Making me look good.

The Death Toll Rises

2005-07-06T20:05:00.000-07:00

Coming back to the world of responsibility comes at a price. Not only has the amount of victims on the missing DVD list (from the gypsy thieves incident, more details on that in a bit) risen, but a very special member of the family has fallen ill.

The PSP broke.

I don't know how it happened, but it's deader than John F Kennedy Jr. (What, too soon?)I went to show it off to some friends, and it choked like the '78 Red Sox. Long story short, it is currently on its way back to the Official Sony PSP Fixing Place.

In other Jeremy-used-to-have-cool-stuff-but-now-it's-gone news, last night, when Lisa's sister was up here and we were in the middle of our long and involved process of picking out what movies to watch, some more movies were noticed missing, including the now out-of-print two disc Uber Edition of Fight Club.

Sad day for Jeremy. Send your prayers.. and gifts of free movies.

I'm serious, I want my movies back.

Chop, chop!

I Know Kung Fu

2005-07-05T17:41:00.000-07:00

I recommend that everyone take a vacation from responsibility. That's what I have been doing for the past two weeks. I've had a bit of a break from real life and I liked it. It's given me a chance to get in touch with myself, and what I want with life. It sounds lame and hokey I know, but even I can't be the cool, svelte guy you know and love twenty-four hours a day.

So I am back, with my bearings aligned and my priorities renewed. You probably won't notice a big change, but I will and that's all that matters.

In other news, grealiy.com (I'm not even going to link to it) the former home of my former Greeley blog, The Other End, officially sucks. Today they unveiled their brand new look, and with it, the denial of features and services that they allowed their users to get hooked on before they decided to take them away.

Basically, greality.com provided free blogs, much in the same way blogger and xanga do. They also allowed their clients to customize the look of their individual websites with CSS, HTML, or other prefabbed layouts. On a centralized homepage, they would display the most recent posts from all of the bloggers. Clicking on one of these "recent posts" would take you to that user's specific blog. Since there are only a couple dozen bloggers on the system, a new post would stay on that front page for quite a while, getting some pretty good exposure. This system worked pretty well and I was very happy with it. This of course means it was not to last.

Today greality.com decided to unveil its new look. With it, they also took away the ability for users to have their own specific blog. Now greality functions like a website like BoingBoing. Each user now contributes to one big "greality" blog. In lieu of their own blog, their posts are organized in no particular order. The worst part of this, is that the users were never informed of this until we logged on today like everyone else.

Needless to say, I was not happy, so I decided that I am free to stop using the service. That's exactly what I did. But, before I went, I decided to leave a few, albeit immature parting shots. You can read my tirade here.

So there you have it, I am back to being a one-blog man. Perhaps its better that way. I'll put all my efforts into making this blog the best it can be. Judging by the fact that this is the first post I have posted after an unexpected absence of two weeks, I'd say I need all the help I can get.

Stay tuned, I will make this blog great, and I would get even greater if I had some people to behold its majesty.

A Point of Clarification

2005-06-16T18:57:00.000-07:00

The title of my post "Jake is the Fatman" was a reference to the television program "Jake and the Fatman." It was an hour long action/drama that ran for five years on CBS. Here is the show's page on TV.com.

Laurie, you are excused from understanding this reference because you were not yet born when this show premiered.

God, I'm old.

Branching Out

2005-06-15T14:51:00.000-07:00

I am not sure if I am a glutton for punishment or finally getting the hang of this, but I have started up a second blog.

Please, I can hear you laughing from here.

Now the obvious question would be why on Earth would I start a second blog when I am just now BARELY beginning to maintain this one with some regularity?

The short answer is I don't know.

The long answer is I really don't know.

It seems like a silly thing to do, but I am nothing if I am not the guy that does silly thing.

This new blog, called The Other End, is hosted by the Greeley Tribune, the local paper I so lovingly mocked yesterday. They have started a website online community called Greality. While this is probably the lamest name I have ever heard of, the site itself is actually a great idea. It is a collection of local blogs and a local message board system for Greeley residents to have a platform to be heard and strengthen our community voice. Though I don't know if I would consider Greeley my "home", it is the place where I have lived for the last 3 years and will continue to live for the next 2, so its about time I get involved.

The Other End will focus my interactions with Greeley, for better or worse. So I can keep up with both sites, it will be updated every Tuesday, Thursday and Sunday (give or take) while I will still try to post here every day or so.

So stop by, especially if you live in Greeley and leave a comment and let me know what you think.

I look forward to seeing you, neighbor!

Responsible Journalism

2005-06-14T10:54:00.000-07:00

The following article was on the front page of Greeley's newspaper, The Greeley Tribune, the other day.

Gnome Thefts All About Freedom

The Front Page.

Now I have had my doubts about the level of sophistication about this publication before, mainly because they did a small, small piece on my NaNoWriMo efforts, and misquoted me. But with a rash of gnome thefts making front page news I am officially concerned as to the state of my city and its primary news publication.

One particular quote from the above article really scares me:

"Last week, rural Greeley resident Elsie Schnorr reported that 30 of her garden gnomes were stolen in two separate trips by the thieves."

Thirty of her garden gnomes? That implies that she has MORE than THIRTY garden gnomes. Who are these people? I didn't even know what a garden gnome was until I saw Amelie, and still, I seriously question the purpose of having one garden gnome, let alone upwards of thirty.

I as much for random acts of thievery as the next guy and could even see myself swiping a gnome off a lawn... but thirty? The logistics of that are just mind-boggling. How does one transport such a gaggle of gnomes? And more importantly, what does one do with them after one has "liberated" them?

Seriously, I need to know.

I want my trunk space back.

Jake Is the Fat Man

2005-06-13T13:09:00.000-07:00

In elementary school, I was good in my studies, and I enjoyed music and art class. I loved learning how to use those state of the art Apple IIE's and I even shared the blocks. I was good at school, and everybody knew it, and I liked it that way. I was a pretty well-behaved kid, but when I saw the same kids who picked on me during recess getting their assignments back replete with red ink, my inner smart ass couldn't help but comment. As I look back, I was just as much of a participant in the endless cycle of emotional scaring. My pompous ass-ness in response to their bullying only encouraged more bullying.

Things were no different in music and art. I was a knack on the glockenspiel and my macaroni art had a certain flair absent from most of my duller witted classmates. My large projects sparkled and always earned the maximum amount of gold stars and smiley face stickers. I can see you are jealous.

When it came time to make way to the Gymnasium, however, my usually wide-open crevasse of a mouth was uncharacteristically shut. This is where my more physically inclined classmates extracted their not-so-silent revenge. You see, though my academic prowess knew almost no bounds (hard to believe I "was" pompous, no?), when it came to physical education I was more awkward then Anakin and Padme's pillow talk.

You see, by the third grade I looked a lot like Drew Carey. I had his neato, butch hair cut, his dreamy glasses and, most notably, his recognizable physique. You don't have to be president of the Drew Carey Fan Club to realize that this resemblance was not the optimal circumstance when it was time to pick teams for pretty much any sport that involved a ball or when we had to climb those evil, evil ropes.

The Red Ink boys may have been dumb, but they weren't stupid. They knew that this was their house, and until high school came along (and I could enroll in Bowling) Gym class was my own personal House of Pain, without the thumping beats and catchy rhymes. A better man than me would have seen that although I was not as physically inclined as I could have been, with hard work and perseverance I would be able do the best I was able and, through personal fulfillment ignore the nay-sayers and be happy with myself, and life.

I don't need to remind you, however, that I am a pompous ass.

By playing the smart-ass card, I sabotaged one of the major chances in my life to start and maintain any sort of healthy, active lifestyle.

To this day my Drew-Carey belly is the monkey on my back.. er, front.

Over the years I have made a couple half-hearted attempts to regain (read: discover for the first time) a sex-ay physique and scrape together a healthy lifestyle. I never followed through, because I never really saw the merit in not being a glutton. I always fooled myself into thinking that I didn't need to be in shape because I was happy with my body. ALL of it. Besides, my thumbs were in excellent shape, and that was all I needed to accomplish amazing physical feats via the wonder of video games.

But now I am fed up with Drew... the Belly, not the guy. On the days that I slip back into my belly-love mood, I realize that I have the best reason ever to lose the Drew. Lisa is beautiful and deserves more than more of me.

Besides, Jedi don't have beer bellies.

Very few of the both of my readers care about my belly, or the lack there of, but when I was preparing for NaNoWriMo, I read that the best way to help you succeed at a goal is to tell as many people about it as possible so if you fail, you have a troop of people disappointed in you.

So, if any of you see me, and I am still rotund, slap me up-side the head.

Thanks!

Fixing Star Wars

2005-06-12T12:26:00.000-07:00

Here is the final installment of my Star Wars related blabing. I hope you enjoyed it as much as I did... though I don't think that is possible.

I end up defending the Prequel Trilogy to a lot of people. I still love it, and always will. While it is possible to dwell on its faults, I prefer to revel in its high points. Many people have ways they think it could be better, and I usually am content to repect George Lucas and his decisions, because, at the end of the day, it is his movie. ROTS, however, really made me wish that the whole prequel trilogy could have been better, and at the same level of its last installment. I think that the problem with the Prequel Trilogy does not exist specifically in the movies themselves, but in Lucas's over all story plan. As one who is trying to learn the craft of story telling, I can learn from what I precieve to be weaknesses, in order to help me be a better writer. Regardless of my opinions and what I would have liked to have seen, as a writer and as a Star Wars Fanboy, my ideas for "improvement" are, in all honesty idle chatter, as I respect and honor the Star Wars Saga as one of the most amazing stories ever told, and only wish that one day I can create something as amazing.

That being said, here is why I am smarter than George Lucas.

In my personal opinion, the faults of AOTC, and the trilogy as a whole appear because Lucas had a clear idea of what story needed to be told in Episodes I and III and had a slew of inbetween stuff that he tried to cram in Episode II. The Orginal Trilogy covers four years, the Prequel Trilogy, fourteen. There's almost no way to comfortably say everything that needs to be said in that time with three movies.

The problem? While I really do like TPM, in many ways it is irelevant. I think Lucas wanted us to humanize Vader, and make it feel like his decent could happen to anyone. Seeing Anakin as a little boy makes Vader more human, but making him the result of immaculate conception cancels that out. The whole "no father" plot is a major weakness anways, throw it out (though ROTS does go back to that idea with pretty good results I must admit). With that gone, nothing that happens in TPM defines Anakin so well that it couldn't have happened in another setting and at a later time. Anakin can start out as a gifted Jedi. It takes us until Episode III to see that Anakin even understands what being a Jedi means. I think it would have been more interesting to explore Anakin's growth as a Jedi knowing that he will soon turn his back on everything he learned.

Also, Lucas could have introduced his love interest later in life. I, for one, really liked the idea that Anakin's quest for power is the result of love, so I know Lucas felt it was important to create a strong love between Anakin and Padme, a love so strong that Anakin would do ANYTHING to keep it. Lucas saw the only way to do that was to have Anakin pine for Padme for 10 years, and tie his love for Padme with his attachment to his mother. I think a strong love could have been formed under more believeable circumstances if Lucas was simply a better writer. I'm in love, and I would do anything (real world "anything", not Star Wars, kill-little-kids, "anything") to keep it, and I didn't meet Lisa when I was a slave and then get locked in monestary for ten years and turn all Stalkie McStalk-Stalk on her.

Focusing on a shorter time period would have given Lucas the chance to chart a more connected fall for Anakin, a slow build towards evil, not a disjointed and awkwardly paced one. Plus, if the Prequel Trilogy focused on a smaller time period, it would have felt more like the Original Trilogy with it's tossed-right-into-the-middle-of-the-action feel. We don't need every question answered as long as the ones that are answered are answered GOOD.

Shortening the time frame of the Prequel Trilogy would still have allowed for all of the political events to unfold leading to the formation of the Galactic Empire and it would have made more sense too. The Battle of Naboo is a great set up, but then nothing major happens for 10 years until, coincedentaly, Anakin and Padme bump into each other? Is that a Sith battle strategy? Strike first, then wait to strike again until the male and female leads hook up? I know the ten-year gap has something to do with the creation of the clones, but that is such a big gaping, Utapau-sized hole in itself that should have been avoided. Letting the chain of events happen at a quicker pace would give the feeling that the characters are swept up in the waves of fate and give a sence of urgency to their actions. Palpatine used the Battle of Naboo to become Chancelor. Big deal, yes that shows he is manipulative, but was it necessary? As Chancelor, he uses the force to manipulate the entire Senate, so why couldn't he have used it to become Chancelor in the first place?

Finally, focusing on a shorter time period would have worked better logistically. Two different actors played Anakin. By showing him as a boy and as a man, this was not to be avoided, but it hurt the Trilogy. We know its not the same person; it breaks our suspension of disbelief. Also, Hayden Christensen was forced to "fill the shoes" of Jake Lloyd, a crappy kid that shouldn't have been allowed on screen in the first place. Anakin's character took Christensen two movies to nail, imagine if he had the chance to explore it even further. Every time, in any movie, or series of movies that more than one actor plays the same character, you are essentialy starting from scratch with the character. Every actor has their own specific way of playing a part, even bad ones. Why do we see remakes of movies, or plays? To see what new actors bring to familiar parts, to see a re-invisioning. Anakin is such an important character, one actor should have had the chance to take him on his journey. Making Chritensen follow Lloyd is unfair to the former. I didn't like Lloyd in TPM, so when I see Chistensen play the same character, subconscously I don't want to like him either.

I know I sound like I can "do better" than Lucas, and I know that's not true. Lucas made every decision he did for a reason, and simply because I don't understand all of those reasons, it does not make them the wrong choices. All I can do is take how I feel and apply it to my own work, so that it might benefit from my experiences with The Star Wars Saga, and everything else I see.

Revenge of the Sith and The Star Wars Saga

2005-06-11T12:23:00.000-07:00

Today we have my penultimate Star Wars post. Monday we can talk about other things... like gnomes.

The Star Wars Saga is now complete. So where does Revenge of the Sith fit in with the rest of the Saga? Well, first, here is my break down of all six movies in order of my preference.

1. The Empire Strikes Back
I like the dark movies, what can I say? This movie has the best script, directing and best acting. Plus, as partial as I am to lightsabers, Han Solo is my favorite character of the Saga, and this is all his show.

2. Revenge of the Sith
In all honesty this is probably a temporary rating, as the "just released" buzz is still making it shine a bit more than it should. Ask me in about a year and I bet I'll rank it under Return of the Jedi.

3. Return of the Jedi
Nothing wrong with this movie, its the perfect culmination of the saga. The main fault is that it doesn't seem to have the edge of Empire. I like the darkness of Episodes III and V; Jedi is almost too squeaky clean. I mean, what do Ewoks know about edge?

4. The Phantom Menace
I don't care what everybody says, I think this is a good movie. Qui Gon Ginn is a great but sadly underrated character, Yoda was still a puppet and The Darth Maul fight is probably the best in the Saga. Jar Jar really doesn't bother me NEARLY as much as Jake Lloyd. Seriously, why couldn't HE have been tossed in a lava pit?

5. A New Hope
Sadly the one that started it all doesn't hold up against the later editions of the Original Trilogy. Being "Star Wars", it is still an awesome experience, and it's a great set up, and an essential part of the saga, but on its own, it just doesn't stand out.

6. Attack of the Clones
This movie has a lot of great visuals, and Padme is finally legal, but Lucas tries to cram way too much story and cameos and instances of "Hey-look-what-I-can-do" movie making and writing that it becomes a jumble. It's still fun to watch, but you can count on it to leave more unanswered questions then to tie up plot lines.

So now you know how I really feel. ROTS is the elbow of the Star Wars Saga, connecting the bruised wrist of Episodes I and II to the buff upper arm of the Original Trilogy. It sets up, and stays true to the roots of Episodes IV, V and VI nicely while still a being a product (both in a positive and negative way) of Lucas' Prequel Vision. The delivery of the twins to their new homes was handled as good as it could have been, and Palpatine's unmasking and transformation to an Emperor was fine as well. The comic book and novel deal more with the formation of the Rebel Alliance (or so I'm told) and while I wish the movie would have touched on that, I don't think it suffered for want of it. I have always thought that the prequels were too devoid of the the technology, specifically the starships, from the Original Trilogy so it was a great joy to see the Tantive IV (Bail Organa's ship) in action. The ARC 170 Starfighters, V-Wings and an early shuttlecraft (though the latter still looked more advanced than it's Original Trilogy counterpart) were welcomed as well. I think here, finally, Lucas struck a good balance between honoring the look of the Original Trilogy while still updating it with modern effects technology.

On the commercials, they say that some paper proclaimed ROTS the best Star Wars movie ever, and while that is not true, it is the best thing that could have happened to Star Wars as a whole. It is okay to like Star Wars again, and though the vocal naysayers will always grind this movie (and all of the others) for its faults, the true fan of Star Wars, and of the movies will love a look back to the way things once were, while still celebrating the way things are going.

Revenge of the Sith and The Prequel Trilogy

2005-06-10T12:21:00.000-07:00

Today continues Star Wars week here at the Island. This post discusses Revenge of the Sith as a part of the rest of the films from the Prequel Trilogy

Episode III is not without its weak points, nothing is. The biggest fault with ROTS is that it is so good that it makes the imperfections of the first two Episodes even more heartbreaking because now we know that George Lucas really can make a worthy successor to (but still not replace) the Original Trilogy. If Episodes I and II were as good as III, then the Prequel Trilogy would go down in the annals of motion picture history along side the Original Trilogy instead of as a foot note to it.

There are many reasons why ROTS is so much better than the previous Prequel movies. The main reason stems from an observation I had towards the end of my first viewing of the movie. I leaned over to Lisa and whispered, "This doesn't feel like a Star Wars movie..." She agreed. Upon further reflection we realized what we really meant was ROTS doesn't feel like a Prequel Star Wars movie, and that's not a bad thing. ROTS does not capture the inexplicable magic of the Original Trilogy, but it does ease us into it, transitioning the viewer into the witty, swaggery excitement we associate with those classic movies.

Excitement, while not the best word to describe the feeling of Episodes III - VI, is a good word because it describes what Episodes I and II lack. The biggest excitement of Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones was watching to see how it sets up the next movie. With ROTS, we know the next movie, we love it, so all of our money is riding on THIS movie to deliver, and thankfully, it does.

The attitude is changed in ROTS. We are thrust right into the movie, capturing the in media res feel of the original trilogy. Gone (mostly) are the heavy handed set ups, and Lucas' cramming everything he possibly can into a movie. Case in point, compare Chewbacca's role in ROTS with Jango Fett's in AOTC. In Clones, it didn't have to be Jango Fett (and Boba) to make the plot work. All his presence did was drain Boba of mystery and add a whole bunch of frustrating unanswered questions. What should have been a little cameo was thrust in our face with a "Ain't this COOL??" label on it. Chewie's appearance in ROTS, on the other hand, is a smooth nod to the fans rather than a jumping up and down, arm-waving, self indulgent tantrum.

In ROTS, Lucas lets the movie propel itself, finally creating tension and urgency, finally capitalizing on the slow march of fate that seemed absent from the previous films. I and II were a series of loosely connected events where III really allows the slow winding wheels of eventuality to shape things into the universe we are familiar with. Does it do it perfectly? No. Does it fix every plot hole opened up in the other two movies? No. The way I think about it, it shouldn't have too. I would rather have some answered questions resulting from a solid movie than see ROTS frantically run around to fix all of the loose ended mistakes the other two movies made and suffer in itself. People say that one of the reasons Episode III "suxors" is that Obi Wan should recognize R2 D2 in Episode IV. That's not ROTS's problem to deal with, blame Episode I for that.

ROTS feels like The Phantom Menace in many respects. It deals with a specific chain of events that are important to the story of the Star Wars Galaxy as a whole and to the story of Anakin Skywalker. While TPM dealt with the first event of dissention in the galaxy, the rise of the Sith threat, and the discovery of Anakin; ROTS deals with the final blow to the Republic and Anakin's final decent into evil. AOTC on the other hand, tries to set up an entire civil war, makes us wonder whether Anakin is evil or just PMSing, introduces a forgettable and needless villain (Dooku), and in general tries to weave way too many elements together that really don't belong together in the fist place. On top of all of that, Lucas realized that he also needed a love story, which, though it is very important to Anakin's character, feels like it was tacked on as an after thought.

I am glad ROTS redeemed the Prequel Trilogy for both believers and non believers alike. Some say Lucas has lost his touch, but, on my end any movie with Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman and lightsabers will always stand the test of time.. Even if it does have Jake Lloyd...

My first time...

2005-06-09T19:55:00.000-07:00

Hello. This is Lisa. This is my first foray into the wonderful world of blogging. For some time now, Jeremy has entertained the masses (or the few) with his witty musings of the world around him. Also for some time he has told me that I should make a guest appearance on his website. I played with the idea of doing my own blog, but then I realized that it would be so much easier to just post occasionally on his (does this make me a mooch?) So what does the primary proof-reader of this site have to say? I've got a few things in mind.

My first rant about the world concerns something that most people (ok, I think all people) really don't care about. But I do, so therefore I'm going to make you care about it. Everyone ready for this?

Popsicle Sticks.

Now I'm not talking about the ones you can buy by the thousands in boxes at the craft stores. No, I'm talking about actual popsicle sticks. They don't have to be in popsicles specifically, but the ones that are stuck inside frozen treats. These are the ones I'm talking about.

Most people, pay no attention to these seemingly simple things, but this is a mistake. If people paid attention to them, they would realize what they are doing. Willingly sticking wood in their mouths. Wood does not taste good, this is why people don't go around licking trees. Popsicle sticks are no different, they taste HORRIBLE. It almost makes the whole popsicle experience not worth it.

We are able to make microscopic microchips, we have a new webpage every six seconds, but we are still licking wooden popsicle sticks. There has to be a better way. How hard would it be to change the sticks to plastic? We use enough plastic to wrap everything else, why can't we put it to good use and make popsicle sticks? With our advanced technology, we can make a sweetener actually taste like sugar, so surely we can add flavor to a popsicle stick. Any of these solutions would work. Anything to make them not taste like the wood that they are.

Next time you start a popsicle and get down to the stick, think about this. Then tell me what you think of the taste of wood.

Revenge of The Weekly Review

2005-06-08T16:33:00.000-07:00

Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of The Sith (et al)

Did you really think I wouldn't talk about this movie?

First, a note about this post, its huge, and yet I still have broken it up into four seperate posts. You have should seen it when it was one Jabba the Hutt sized post. Needless to say, if you are a regular reader of this site (HA!) then you are going to be reading about Star Wars for a solid week and if that's not your cup of tea, then you'll be quite... thirsty.

Second of all, there are all sorts of spoilers in it, for Episode III and all of the other Star Wars movies, so if you haven't seen all of them and/or any of them, and you care about spoilers, then don't read this... but tell someone else to because I need more people to read this thing anyway.

Ahem

I can (and will) talk about ROTS in many different contexts, but the first and foremost is as a stand alone movie, and its a good one at that.

It has been almost three weeks since the premier of ROTS (acronyms = cool) and by now I am pretty sure everyone has made a decision whether they will see the movie or not, so the point of writing a review is rather...pointless. I needed about three weeks, however, to let the movie sink in and attempt to form some sort of objective feelings about it. Had I shared my thoughts about ROTS as soon as I got back from the midnight showing, my review would have read something like this:

OMG! ROTS IS TEH PWN + THE R0X0RZ AND TEH SHITZZZ!!!!!!1!!!! I W4NT 2 HAV UR BABYZ GEORGE LUC4S!!!!!! IF U DNT LUV ROTS U R TEH G4Y !!!!11!1!!! LOLZ!

Aren't you glad that now we can have an adult (albeit one sided) conversation about this movie? Oh, but if you don't like it, you u r still teh g4y.

One thing I said minutes after I saw the movie still holds true today. Revenge of the Sith (full title used for dramatic effect) is the best of the Prequel Trilogy. Now to some people, that is like saying, "The XFL was the most successful of the non-NFL football leagues" or "Taylor is the most talented Hanson brother," but from me, it really means something because I genuinely liked the Prequel Trilogy.

If that last statement shocks or offends you, good, because that means someone besides Lisa is reading this site (she is already familiar with my views on.. well, everything).

ROTS is everything I hoped it would be, and that is saying a lot. ROTS starts out right in the middle of the action, which I love. Zipping through a space battle that finally does the "Star Wars" moniker justice, the movie opens with a bang, grabbing the audience with an excitement that says, "we know this is the last time that we get to do this with you, so let's do it right, baby." The effects in this sequence, and in the whole movie are as top notch as ever, and blend more seamlessly with the live actors than almost any movie I have ever seen. Since Lucas did everything on a sound stage, it is important that the live and CG pieces blend, and they do.

So the movie looks awesome, but for most people it takes more than that to be a good movie. In the story department, Lucas finally came back to his full glory. He has said that he writes on a larger scale, and this overall story line is very satisfying. Each event is important, logical and contributes to the story. Everything fits together pretty nicely, though the movie does have two distinct halves. Though Anakin and Obi Wan spend the middle of the movie apart, the action goes back and forth between them nicely, and more effectively than such jumping around was handled in The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones. Lucas has woven a story that does justice to the expectations we all had about the fall of Anakin. For once, things are motivated and characters do what they should, and for reasons that make sense. A lot of people (mostly manly men, I assume) have a problem that Anakin's journey to the Dark Side is motivated by his love and his fear of loss. I for one love that angle. It would have been very easy to make Anakin simply hungry for power and domination, but Lucas shows Anakin as someone whose good intentions lead him terribly off track. He crosses a line between dedication and obsession and that journey allows for a much deeper movie than simply another powerful man who wants more power.

Anakin does cross the line, and ROTS clearly demonstrates that, almost to a fault. I say almost, because there is one scene in particular that I am surprised has not garnered controversy. If you have not seen the movie and you have not heeded my warning from the top of this post then please STOP READING. HERE BE SPOILERS! The seen where Anakin/Vader encounters a group of children in the Jedi temple borders on the edge of being a bit too much. I think it is still one the safe side of the line, but Lisa is not so sure. While it is certainly intense and power to so graphically imply that Anakin kills children, I think it is very important to the plot of the movie and the character. Actual violence against children is not shown, and in fact the word "children" or "kids" isn't even used in connect with the violent acts. This shows how far Anakin has fallen and what evil he really is capable of. It is important to show that Anakin really is dead and that (at this time) there is no chance of redemption. Some would say that those points could be expressed with out implying Vader kills younglings, and that may be true, but when you think about it, even more violent acts are implied in A New Hope. Darth Vader destroys a planet. Yes, it is not graphic, but regardless Vader orders the death of an ENTIRE POPULATION. His experience in the Jedi Temple shows just a fraction of the deeds that the most evil man in the galaxy is capable of and how skewed he has become.

Either way, the acting has really improved this time around. Finally, it is okay to like Hayden Christensen who, as I and George Lucas have both noted, was unfairly lampooned for Episode II. We won't be seeing any Oscar nominations for acting in Episode III, but we wouldn't have seen any for the Original Trilogy too. Ewan McGregor is finally having fun with his part, something we all have been waiting for. Natalie Portman is hot as ever, but unfortunately most of her scenes are the ill-fated, badly-written, sweet-talk scenes I will get into later.

The real star of the movie though was Ian McDiarmid. Of course we knew he rocked the Kasbah, in Return of the Jedi, but in ROTS, McDiarmid really got down and dirty as the most wicked old man in the galaxy.

If the Internet is any indication however, even bad-ass Emperor Palpatine is not enough to save ROTS from a deluge of harsh words on our quaint little world wide web. Some of these criticisms I agree with, but not to such a strong degree. Yes, its true, George Lucas can not write romantic dialogue to save his life. Not even a little bit. He was married for a time, and you can be sure that ol' George did not woo her with verse. Sadly the incredibly hot Natalie Portman has the bulk of her performance trapped in this awkwardly written and directed scenes. I think the two actors are doing the best they can, but are still fighting against a bad script and weak directing. Lucas himself has admitted he can't write dialogue, which earns points for modesty, but he still should have got help from another writer since Anakin and Padme's relationship is so important to the story.

The rest of the outcry on the Internet is nothing more than poppycock (I know that term is out dated, but I don't care, its fun to say.. er, write). A lot of sites mock Vader's "Noooooooooooooo!", but seriously, what else was he supposed to say? Star Wars has always bordered on campy, and the Darth Vader table scene is a homage to every Frankenstein scene ever, campiness included. Personally, I don't see why Darth Vader needs to be outfitted with his tunic and cape and helmet the second he is on the operating table as his suit and respirator are the only things he really needs for survival, but I understand the artistic image Lucas wanted. That was his money shot and the moment that helmet clicks on and we hold our breath as Vader takes his first, I was literally on the edge of my seat.

(Even though I do think a lot of nitpicking ROTS on the web is extreme, this site is actually really funny, just don't tell anyone who linked to it.)

Seriously though, what do the people who make it a past time to bash Star Wars really hope to accomplish? Are they stopping people from seeing it? Ticket sales say no. Its always been said that any publicity is good publicity. Plus, a lot of this Internet banter was up right after the midnight showing. This means that these people waited in line all day, and paid higher ticket prices just to watch a movie they would later be bashing on the Internet. George Lucas is laughing at you all the way to the bank. To paraphrase what I read on some message board, if you tried Coke once and didn't like it, tried it a second time and still didn't like it, why would you wait in line to get the next shipment?

Once again the hype machine ravaged ROTS, namely in the form of General Greivous. Yes he was cool, and yes four arms were indeed l33t, but he only fought with them for about 30 seconds. I would have enjoyed him a lot more, and probably found him a lot cooler of a character if I hadn't had him and his four arms shoved down my throat since February. The same thing happened with Episode II, with Yoda fighting and Anakin using two sabers. They were over-hyped and the execution didn't stand up to the build up.

Luckily, the same thing didn't happen to the movie as a whole. I have been waiting for this movie since before Episode I came out. This is my, and the world's, last chance to see Star Wars, and though Vader is on everything from Pop Tarts to toilet paper, Revenge of the Sith was worth every late night I stayed online reading about "leaked footage", every action figure I've bought, and every doubter I defended the movie to before it even came out. The Saga is over, and it went out with a bang.

Only six months until the DVD.

A Final Note: I really want to thank Lisa for helping me with this post, and every post that comes this week. In fact, Lisa helps me with every post that graces this site. You see, before I publish any post, Lisa reads them back to me, out loud and helps me proofread them. Since this post is so huge, I really, really owe her a huge debt of gratitude and recognition. There is quite a high degree of patience required to deal with me when I write, and to live with me, be in a relationship with me and pretty much know me in general. Luckily, her patience is just one of many wonderful qualities that Lisa overflows with. Thanks Limbo.

For A Limited Time

2005-06-07T19:17:00.000-07:00

Never mind the fact that I updated my Wish List to help fill the void left in my life by selling a lot of my old video games, and also ignore the fact that you can donate cold hard cash to the Island via Amazon.com's Honor System.

If you buy me one thing this year, make it the Sizzling Seven Cheeto.

EDIT: Looks like bidding is closed on the Sizzling Seven, but the Peeto is still available. Get out those credit cards!

Holy Cabooses!

2005-06-05T16:03:00.000-07:00

So yesterday,Lisa and I ended up watching the whole Matrix Trilogy. Despite popular opinion, I still think The Matrix Trilogy is one of the best pieces of cinematic science fiction. But that's not what this post is about.

You see, me and Lisa were not planning, per se, to watch the whole Matrix Trilogy in one day but we caught the beginning of the first movie on TBS and needed the resolution, so we popped in the DVDs. If we had time, I would have watched the first movie over again on DVD to cleanse my brain of some of the worst language editing I have ever seen.

Ever.

Apparently, in The Matrix, the term "flipper" refers to the middle finger, and when you have a robotic bug inside your small intestine it is not odd to yell, "Jeepers Creepers!"

But perhaps the finest/worst example of keeping the bad words at bay came from Dozer exclaiming, "Judas Preist!" in lieu of "Jesus Christ!"

Judas Priest? I mean I sort of get the biblical connection, but in a time of crisis, I still think it is never okay to take an 80's hair band's name in vain.

At first I was offended, I was outraged, but before I could say "Skid Row." I realized what may be going on. TBS is trying to catch the hip young demographic, airing Family Guy and Friends, so maybe they are trying to create a new language movement. Everybody wins. Parents won't have to chastise their kids for being potty mouths, and at the same time we can deal a death blow to anyone who still thinks these bands are good.

Near the end of the movie, I truly became aware of the ludicrousness of this whole language editing debacle. It happened when Neo walks into a building, pulls out a gun and shoots a civilian security guard at close range. Now, god forbid our children say "fuck", bad language is the mark of the uncivilized. Always say please and thank you before you blow someone away with high powered weapons.

Now don't get me wrong, I love the Matrix movies, and I love the violence in them. I do not think it is okay for a kid to swear, but I also do not think it is okay for them to be exposed to such violent images until they are old enough to understand the context. The message of the media however, is that swearing and sex is a sin, but violence is perfectly acceptable.

Look at movie ratings. Show more than a few minutes of breasts, or god forbid a penis, and you are slapped with an NC 17 rating, but in PG 13 movies like Episode III you can see characters burned alive and beheaded.

What is the big deal with breasts? Most of us spend the first year of our lives attatched to one for a daily survival. I am relatively sure that in my life I will see more breasts than I will bodies riddled with gunshot wounds.

So if you have a angst ridden 12 year old boy flipping channels on a Saturday, what would you rather have him watch? Die Hard or Showgirls?

I'd much rather have him lock himself in the bathroom with some Playboys, than pick the lock to dad's gun locker.

Either way, the phrase: "I was just cleaning it, and it went off," would have two very different meanings.

The other end of the Spectrum

2005-06-04T11:33:00.000-07:00

So the other day, a major source of grief came from the fact that we left our door unlocked. So, in an effort to stop that sort of grief from happening again, me and Lisa have made it a point to lock our door.

The fates, however, are not supporting us in our desire for a grief free lifestyle.

This morning, as she tried to leave the apartment and go to work, Lisa realized that the deadbolt lock on our front door had broken. This means that the door cannot be opened. At all. Even with a key. Not be the hair on my chinny-chin-chin.

Luckily Lisa was able to crawl out the window, and make it to work on time, though I don't think that it was very brand. I am glad however that we do not live on the second or third floor, because Lisa's place of employment would be less mad that she was late because of the broken legs she received jumping from our third story window than they would be for her calling in because she was held captive in her own house.

I have been safely locked in our apartment all day, hoping that there is not a fire, or any other need to exit my house quickly, because I am out of shape, and climbing out of the window is a pain.

At least our spare DVD player and remaining Bond movies are safe.

Partly Cloudy but with a 100% Chance of Sex-ay

2005-06-03T16:32:00.000-07:00

The weather in Denver is dicey. Tornado Warnings, rotation, hail. And yet in Greeley? Scattered showers. Nothing exciting ever happens in Greeley.

If you want excitement in Greeley, you have to manufacture it yourself. Since I can't control the weather (shout out to Ororo), I'll have to make do with my new PSP, the most exciting thing to happen to me since Lisa (but for VERY different reasons...)

Now, I bet you are wondering, how did a poor, but still very good looking college student like me procure the notably pricey PSP?

Simple, I sold my soul to the Devil, and took advantage of my local game store's trade in policies. I traded everything in my collection that was deemed nonessential, and exploited every trade-in credit loop hole in order to squeak by and come home with a PSP and three games.

There were casualties, and those who will be missed. My PS2, my first foray into Next-Gen gaming is gone, as is the grand-daddy of them all, my Nintendo 64. Perhaps the hardest old friend to part with was my GameBoy Advance SP. Our time together was all too short.

But everytime I start to pine for my lost systems, all I have to do is slide on the sleek, black power button on my new sleek, black best friend and I am reminded that my sacrifices were all worth it.

Simply put, the PSP is the most beautiful piece of technology I have ever laid my grubby hands on. I could ramble on and on about it, but I don't want to bore the both of you. Let's just say that I have been excited for the PSP since I first heard rumors after last year's E3, and after having all of that time for my desires to simmer, you would think that all that could happen is that it would not live up to my expectations.

That is wrong, it meets, and exceeds them.

Nothing is perfect, but the PSP is closest.

When I get back in the swing of things enough to post some weekly reviews expect to read more about everything PSP.

Perhaps the most exciting feature of the PSP is that is is compatible with my current model of girlfriend. Lisa has been known to steal a few moments playing the WONDERFUL puzzle game Lumines. That's right, Lisa played a video game, by choice. The PSP is that powerful. She's even going to take it with her when she goes to Nebraska wrangling hormonal divas... and her sister (who is both hormonal, and a diva, but never at the same time).

And now, even as I type, the skies are getting darker in Greeley, so maybe there is so excitement coming down the bend yet. Its mother nature vs. the PSP, and my money is on Sony.

Live Blogging Wonka

2005-06-02T22:52:00.000-07:00

So me and Lisa are watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, noting that if the grandparents really were in bed for 20 years, then their muscles would have atrophied.

"Yes, because that is the major inaccuracy in the movie."

I paused.

"How do they go to the bathroom?"

"That bed must really smell."

Then we saw it, when Charlie reaches under the bed to get Grandpa Joe's slippers.

Four bedpans. One for each bedridden grandparent.

How's that for follow through?

Those Who Burgle

2005-06-01T12:50:00.000-07:00

I am currently eating burnt bratwurst. Curse you Gilmore Girls for being to engaging to check my food while it cooks!

Anyways.

Ah, June. The first day of a new month is upon us, and already June is devoid of some of the major characteristics of May. For one, I'm blogging. Second, my internet, including wireless (Woohoo, posting on the sofa!) is working; and third, my apartment hasn't been robbed.

At least not yet.

Yes, I am sure I caused some alarm with my last post, and it probably merits some explanation. So explain I shall.

You see, I should preface this explanation by admitting that some of my lazy ways have rubbed off on me and Lisa, and rather than go out and get a copy of our key to our apartment so we could both have one, there was much more time to watch TV if we just trusted our fellow man and never actually locked our door.

Fellow men, such time of trust is OVER.

Walking home from work on Sunday, I was off in my own little world listening to some Ben Folds on my PSP (More info on that wonderful development tomorrow). Lisa was at home with her family for the weekend, so I was on my own. I walked through my unlocked door still in my headphone land, when my eye caught an unusual amount of empty space where my DVD player should be. That's when the panic started. I was hit with a conflict of interest. The X-Box was still there, as was the stereo and pretty much everything else of value. But what was the state of the rest of the apartment? Had the thieves taken my computer? My lightsabers? MY ACTION FIGURES?!? I had to take stock of the situation! But with my adrenalin pumping, I froze. I really wasn't paying attention when I walked in the house. The band of vagrant gypsy thieves could still be here. Did I really want to explore the rest of the house and walk in on a bunch of blood thirsty pirates in mid-plunder, or did I want to sneak back out of the apartment and leave a plate of cookies and wait for them to be all finished.

Against my better judgment, I decided to carefully explore the rest of my house. Quickly it became apparent to me that these were no ordinary thieves. They didn't take my computer, and it looked like they didn't make it into our bedroom. In fact, they didn't take ANYTHING except my DVD player, or so I thought. That's when I looked at all of my DVDs which they didn't take. This is when I discovered the TWO they DID take. That's right, of all of the DVDs (and other valuable things) that I have, they carefully perused my collection and politely snatched only two DVDs. Die Another Day and Goldeneye.

Then it hit me. I knew who the culprits were.

Bond villains.

Henchmen, most likely. I mean although most of the major headlining Bond villains ended up getting bested by 007, they were smarter than this. Henchmen on the other hand are not known for their smarts. They always are standing near explosive containers prone to gunfire, etc.

These particular henchmen did know their limitations however. While they did make off with two examples of Brosnan bond, they didn't touch Goldfinger.

No one messes with Connery.

The Latest Development

2005-05-30T09:41:00.000-07:00

Add one more thing to the list of reasons I haven't been able to focus on blogging...

My apartment was broken into.. by BondVillans!

More details soon...

Now you really are a-quiver!

Are You Really Surprised?

2005-05-29T15:19:00.000-07:00

Seriously, are you?

Many things have happened over the past few days... er weeks, that have kept me from posting

Among them are:

Fixing my internet proved to be much more of challenge that I was prepared for. Luckily I eventually prevailed.

I saw Star Wars Episode III.

I saw it again.

And last but certainly not least, I got the holy grail of portable gaming, the PSP.

How could one be expected to write under those circumstances? SO needless to say my schedule has been a bit upended, and I have no plans of... downending it until after the holiday weekend.

So, have a good weekend and I shall see you all on Tuesday.

I'm sure you are all a-quiver, I know I am.

The Force is Not With Me

2005-05-13T15:05:00.000-07:00

So I think I am stupid. No, I am pretty sure of it. Thanks to my parent's financing and the wonders of the FedEx Gods, I received a new power cord for my laptop. (The old one kind of blew up. Scratch that, it actually blew up. Lisa found this most disconcerting: "They just shouldn't DO that!") You would think all would be well in Jeremy's computer land, yes?

No.

I thought I knew how to set up my router that was working perfectly a week ago. I thought I was reasonably capable in terms of diagnosing various networking and routing problems. I thought I had any confidence in terms of computers what so ever.

I was wrong.

So, woe is me. I am not even on my own computer, I am at Lisa's parents house. (Not specifically because of computer problems, but because Lisa's sister has a choir concert, and rather than forget about the STUPID router and enjoy a day away from Greeley, I chose to dwell on my short comings ALL THE LIVE LONG DAY.)

But, the small glimmer of hope that is keeping me even a little sane is the newest addition to my Star Wars collectible Collection. Wicket, the Ewok as a Burger King Kid's Meal Toy. I have found at that there are thirty one (!) different Star Wars Toys at Burger King, so if my Internet continues to hate me I figure I can pass my time begging for money and traveling to BK's all over the state completing my collection. But for now, Wicket is good enough. Hopefully this plucky little friend to the Republic will be a good luck charm and rescue me from the doldrums of my self induced computer related hell.

If not, at least I can tuck him in my shirt pocket and sing the Ewok Celebration song from Return of the Jedi all day.

Whatever works.

Consider the Source

2005-05-11T22:16:00.000-07:00

The link in the title is me, he just has better hair...

There's no question that the next week will be the hardest for Lisa to not kick me out on the street. Why, you ask? Is it because of my financial state of distress? What about my complete lack of organization (both financial and otherwise?)? Or could it be my slob-ness or my constant sarcasm?

No, its not any of those things, though now I really realize how lucky I am that she is so tolerant of me...

The simple answer is this: In exactly one week from today, from this moment, I will be sitting in the movie theater, probably literally bouncing up and down in my seat waiting for Episode III to start. And until the lights go down in that theater on that fateful night, I will probably be unbearable to live with.

I can't go from one room to another with out "flying" any one of a number of Star Wars toy ships with me. Left to my own devices for more than a few moments, I have sprawled out a battle of action figure proportions on the floor. Everything just tastes better in my new Darth Vader Slurpee Cup. (I have the one with Vader himself on it!) Instead of balancing my checkbook online, I am off reading about Episode III toys, or teetering on the edge of every spoiler debating how pure of a viewing experience I want to have. (As it turns out, not that pure.) Every time a commercial for the movie comes on the air, the room has to be silent and still though I have seen that particular commercial about 25 times. I am in a sad state.

I write a post on my blog simply about how excited I am.

I know it sounds like I am about 7 years old, and I guess I am. I really don't mind, because as much as I have tried to culture myself cinematically, at the end of the day, Citizen Kane can suck it compared to two badasses swinging lightsabers around.

Lisa has never been to a midnight showing for one of the prequels. I was at the one for Episode II, but couldn't make the one for Episode I. We saw two of the Lord of the Rings movies at midnight, but the Star Wars crowd is different. I've seen guys in full Darth Maul make up, Stormtroopers, children dressed as Ewoks, fat men with jedi robes and lightsabers and even fatter women dressed as Amidala or (shudder) Leia. If she thinks I have been hard to live with, I am relatively sure that waiting in line to be seated with this crowd will make her realize that it could have been a lot worse than to be stuck with me.

Or at least that's what I'm counting on.

New Feature: The Weekly Review

2005-05-09T22:55:00.000-07:00

"Weekly" review? Doesn't that imply that I'm going to have to maintain a slightly regular schedule of updating this blog to make that title not count as false advertising?

YES

And, assuming that I do maintain that requirement of posting a review once a week (usually on Mondays), to keep this blog from turning into solely a collection of said "Weekly" reviews, doesn't that also imply that I'm going to have to update several times during the week with insightful and witty non-review posts?

YES

Can I do that?

YES!

Below you will find your first, of many, weekly review. I have a lot of stuff, and I like talking about it, so why not talk about it on the Internets? As usual, I will also post these reviews on Amazon.com.

Enjoy.

EDIT: More Blogger spellcheckin' weirdness: For the word "fanboy's" it suggested "beanbag's". I don't know what I find that so funny, but I do =)

Weekly Review: Lego Star Wars

2005-05-09T22:36:00.000-07:00

First of all, it must be known, I love Star Wars. Second of all, it must be known that before I loved Star Wars, I loved Legos. When these two loves of mine were first combined, I snatched up as many Star Wars Lego sets as I could, and loved them like my own children (or, more appropriately, like my children will one day be lucky enough to be loved like).

Mixing this already stellar combination with yet another one of my cruel mistresses, the Xbox, is like offerin' cake to a fat kid.

Now, a point of clarification: Lego Star Wars is not a game destined to go down in the annals of gaming history. It is not for the hardcore gamer. However, if you are a devoted fanboy of Star Wars, or Legos or Star Wars AND Legos, then this game will not disappoint.

First I shall talk about the many ways this game is a fanboy's delight. There is something very odd, yet astoundingly cool about seeing the Star Wars universe transformed into Legos. Every aspect of the game is tied to the bricks. When enemies (and your character) die, they shatter into lego pieces. Jedi have to use the force to build and break pieces. Every ship, building and character is built from bricks. It all works flawlessly and, thanks to good graphics, looks good too. Also, transforming the Star Wars movie into Legos adds a quirky sense of humor to the (in some people's opinions) sometimes lacking movies. Familiar scenes are fun to see skewed as Lego reimaginations. There is no dialogue, so all the little Lego guys communicate through facial expression and sound effects, and it works surprisingly well.

For the Star Wars fanboy, you are set, if anything by the sheer number of playable characters. You can unlock almost any Jedi that has been in the prequel, and tons of other characters that all look great and sometimes hilarious as Legos. I'm pretty sure this is the only Star Wars game that you can play as Darth Maul, Darth Vader and The Emperor, not to mention a Gronk Driod, three versions of Obi-Wan, Yoda and of course, R2-D2.

Gameplay wise, Lego Star Wars is a bit more complex than its look would mandate. Combat is simple, but effective. The game also has a very simple RPG feel, as you have a party of different characters that you must switch to at different times to perform different tasks. This is no Final Fantasy or KOTOR by any stretch of the imagination, but you do need to be mindful of having the right characters with you at the right times. It adds something to a game that could be seen as too juvenile.

That brings up a good point. Lego Star Wars is marketed as a kids game. This will scare away the hardcore gamers, which is probably a good idea and just what the makers wanted. Hard core gamers who are not Star Wars fans probably should keep looking for a deeper, more challenging game. I am not a kid (per se) but I was still able to find a lot of enjoyment in this game. The most "kid-like" quality is that it is short. In a rental period, you could unlock pretty much anything worth unlocking.

The saving replay factor is that every single level has the chance for cooperative multiplayer, so its a great game to have on your shelf when friends come over. Because its controls are simple and the story is familiar to almost everyone, its a great game for people that don't usually play video games.

All in all Lego Star Wars is a fun great game. Though its not for everyone, its for anyone that likes Star Wars, Legos and accessible gaming.

We Don't Need No Education

2005-05-08T10:18:00.000-07:00

It's official, school is out for summer. But, even though I have completed my forth full year of college, school is not out forever.

The final requirement for this semester was for me to finish my "long" short story, and finish it I did. If you were so inclined, you could read it here, on the Notebook.

Finals week ended up being a bit more cumbersome than I had originally intended. Because of that, as usual, things were left to the last minute. Also, as usual, I didn't get to post here as "promised."

My creative writing class really kicked my desire to be a writer into over drive. I've gotten books, talked to real live authors and most importantly actually written things. Going from saying, "Hey I should be a writer," and actually pursuing that end is an interesting transition.

In my experience, when you are in the first phase, the "wannabe phase," it is easy to get overwhelmed. Sure, you walk around and think, "I could be a writer, I like writing," but it always ends up that are walking around thinking more than you are sitting writing. When you actually manage to sit down and attempt to write something, you are met with the most manxome foe: a blank screen (or page).

Suddenly a fresh new Word document becomes a sacred tome. You can't just deface it with any old piece of prose. Whatever you write has to be worthy; it has to be something written by an Author. This piece that you are yet to even create is suddenly the only proof that you are in that elite club and have the right to call yourself an Author. When some asks you your hobbies and you say "Oh, I'm a writer," and they say "Well, what have you written?" this soon-to-be-defaced empty Word document will be the grounds that they will judge you on. What if it's not perfect? Women will ignore you! Men will beat you up! Babies will spit up on your favorite sweater and dogs will bark and nip at your ankles! What pressure! Eventually you decide that you are not up to such a daunting task as producing the definitive work of fiction, so you resolve to work on it later and flip on an episode of Road Rules.

After a while of living in this pattern, when someone asks you your hobbies, you usually say, "Oh well I like too write, but I've just been so busy that I haven't had the chance lately, so there's no use asking to see anything I've written," or, "well, I like to write, but it's a very private and personal thing, and I would just die if my personal musings became public record, so don't ask to see anything I've written," or, worst of all: "Hobbies? Well, I collect sexually explicit Hummel figurines."

You realize that you are trapped. You stopped trying to write the definitive work of fiction weeks ago and have spent all of your free time in eBay trying to find the elusive "Sally the Milkmaid Doggy Style" figurine with the rare paint variation on her garter belt. Your friends are disgusted and your family worried. What is there to do? How will you break this endless cycle?

Well, though I haven't even fully practiced what I preach, I have discovered how to get out. Its so simple that it almost hurts: WRITE, as much as possible. The more you write, the better you get. I've heard the same advice for artists and musicians. Yes, in the beginning, you may not be exceptionally proud of what you produce, but that's okay. If you write often, then you don't have to rely on the first piece you manage to get down to be your defining literary moment. You have to be willing to right badly. Trust me, having a completely finished story or poem or even novel that SUCKS will still make you more proud than countless first sentences that you threw out because they weren't perfect.

The bulk of this advice comes from the wonderful book No Plot? No Problem, by the creator of NaNoWriMo, Chris Baty. I was lucky enough to get a copy for my birthday from Lisa, and its probably the single most useful writing book I own. To paraphrase the author, people are so used to having to be great at what they do, for the sake of their job usually, that they are far too intimidated to try anything new, because they know they won't be great when they start. I can attest to that, though I wouldn't say I was a stellar panty processor.

Things are beginning to change though. In my creative writing class, I produced four complete pieces. I'm happy with all of them. One of them I think I really good, and one I am just proud that I finished it, and that's okay. Now, as summer hits, I know I don't have a classroom requirement breathing down my neck to get me to sit down and write, so it's "make-or-break" time.

I need to make writing a routine, develop a habit. I have the time, and if I ingrain the practice into my daily schedule, this fall when things get busier, writing will already be something I'm so used to that I'll be able to schedule everything around it.

So, my goal is to spend seven hours of every week writing. I've even created a spreadsheet to log my progress. Now, I know I have set writing goals for myself before, most notably for this website that have been met with the same success as the search for WMDs. I know that there is a chance this will play out like a mid-year New Year's resolution: exuberant dedication for about 4 days - two weeks followed by the denial that I even set the goal. Things don't have to be that way. If I don't have a specific story in mind, then I'll turn to this blog, or my journal. So be prepared for random and perhaps pointless entries (because usually my post are bristling with significance). I'm not as concerned with what I write, just as long as I spend 1/24th of my week constructing words and recording them on paper or disk.

Its a noble goal, but I'm a noble chap.

One hour down, 111 to go.

But No Cigar

2005-05-02T22:39:00.000-07:00

So I wanted to be The Ultimate Blogger, but alas, I shan't be bestowed with that title...yet.

Yes, I applied to be part of Urban Honking's blogger brawl, The Ultimate Blogger. Basically the powers that be lay down various blogging challenges, and the people with the best posts advance until only one remains. I made the first cut, and was one of the 30 finalists, but I was not selected to be a contestant. Oh well, it was cool getting as far as I did. Really.

In my "sorry-you're-not-quite-cool-enough-to-be-The-Ultimate-Blogger" letter, they suggested that I "play at home" and do the challenges on my own blog, for fun. I think that's a great idea, I can always use topics to blog about, so tomorrow stay tuned for my entry based on the first challenge.

In other news my hardest final was today.

It's done, that's just about all I can say: It's done.

Sancho

The Sad Saga of my Body

2005-04-29T10:51:00.000-07:00

Remember when I had bronchitis? Yeah, well I still do. Remember when I had a cold I got from the bronchitis? Yeah, still got that too. Remember the ear infection I also got during this fiasco? Yeah the score is Sickness University: 4, My Immune System Tech: 0.

For my ear infection, besides being seen by a nurse practitioner that was a flaky hippy with such thick braided hair that it looked like rope, I got ear drops. Now eye drops are the scourge of Satan, but ear drops don't bother me too much. I do have to lay with my ear up for about five minutes with my ear canal filled with cold, cold drops.

The only other time I've had ear drops stems from a camping incident when I was (go figure) but a wee lad. This happened before the life-changing lightsaber story. I had not intended to post ANOTHER "Little Jeremy" goes camping story, but the fates demand it. Besides, this one is shorter.

How short? How about, "Once, when I was camping, a beetle flew up my ear and attempted to burrow into my brain"? That is the Cliff Notes version, but the real version is pretty much as direct.

"Mom, a bug flew in my ear."

"Okay honey. Go help your dad get the cooler out of the car."

"What? I can't hear you, there's a bug crawling around in my ear."

"A bug really flew up your ear?"

Why would I make this up?

"Honey, get a flashlight, I think a bug flew into Jeremy's ear."

My hearing was all muffled, and the fact that the new resident of my ear canal was crawling all over the place made it both extremely uncomfortable and noisy.

I was not amused.

After my dad was sufficiently grossed out after having seen a big black beetle crawling around inside his son's head, we decided to go to the Ranger Station. Just our luck, "Tex" was on duty. I'm sure the man's real name wasn't "Tex" but trust me, he fit the profile of a man that would be called Tex.

"Yep, that's a big ol' black beetle alright, I reckon we get that sucker out of thar before she lays some eggs in thar..."

Up until this point, I had remained relatively calm. It was almost cool sharing my head cavity with another living creature. It was certainly something I would be eager to go home and share with my friends. Upon hearing about my invader's possible intentions, I was now, justifiable freaking out.

My dad didn't help. As Tex was fumbling around his pockets looking for tweezers that I was relatively sure weren't properly sanitized, my, loving, understanding father asked with childlike curiosity, "So you mean it could, like, lay thousands of eggs into his ear and then in a few days all of these baby beetles would come streaming out of his ear?"

Tex smiled, "Yep, happened to a fella up in..."

That was it, I was done. I screamed, whimpered and generally commenced hysterically freaking out.

Three pairs of tweezers later (each one getting longer and colder) the little black mother-to-be was expelled from my head. She was still alive, noticeably relieved to be freed from a screaming child's head. She flew away, and, if there is any justice in this world, hopefully was smashed against someone's windshield before the day was out. Tex was "purty sure that there weren't no babies in thar," but we cut our trip short and when home to my doctor to be sure. My head was safe, no eggs I was given some ear drops to keep things clean.

I didn't want to camp the rest of the summer.

I'm sure this wouldn't have happened if I had my lightsaber.

Stupid Dark Side beetle.

Sancho

The Lightsaber says...

2005-04-27T13:59:00.000-07:00

Click the title of this post to understand where it comes from...

Remember how last week I said I was getting over being sick? Yeah, well I lied. Exactly two weeks from the day I was diagnosed with Strep Throat, I was back at the doctor being told I had bronchitis. White blood cells, why hast thou forsaken me?

Bronchitis is even more stressful than Strep, meaning it has knocked me flat on my ass for the last couple of days. That explains the new site design. Tinkering makes me feel better, consistency be damned!

One thing (besides Lisa and Gilmore Girls) that is giving me the will to live, is knowing that I have midnight tickets to see Episode III. If you are asking yourself, "Episode III of what?" Than stop reading immediately, crawl out of whatever cliche ridden rock you live under and get the latest issue of Premiere, or Entertainment Weekly, or even Wired. ( I have all three, muahaha)

Other forms of sustenance include the WONDERFUL Xbox game Lego Star Wars. Which will soon merit a post here. ("Like the Prom post?" Shut up! It's coming...) In fact Star Wars fever in general has consumed me to far more of an extent than bronchitis ever could. Case in point, my Star Wars collection's newest member is none other than a toy version of George Lucas's finest creation...

(No, not Natalie Portman, she isn't Lucas's finest creation, she is God's finest creation...)

The single coolest, most awe inspiring thing in the both Star Wars Trilogies, and maybe in all of Sci-Fi existence, is the Lightsaber. It is Lucas's legacy, because everyone, everywhere has wished at some point to twirl a lightsaber and feel its hum. Even starving kids in Rwanda... they could use it to... kill food...(?)

I have been fascinated with them since I first saw the first movies on TV when I was too young to appreciate Leia's gold bikini. One special event, however, really cemented the lightsaber's place in my nerdy heart, and I will tell you about it. I'm sure anyone who knows me, especially Lisa, wonders why I am so obsessed with my plastic light up toys "for a more civilized age". This will hopefully clear that up.

When I was but a wee lad, my family used to enjoy camping up in the Rocky Mountains. In preparation for one certain trip, we went to the store to get camping supplies specifically for me. This was to be no ordinary trip. This trip, I would be sleeping in my own, personal tent. It would still be about three feet from my parents' tent, but for all intents and purposes, when that flap of nylon was zipped up, I was on my own in the wilderness.

We picked out my tent with relative ease and had moved on to all the other sorts of supplies I would need to make it in the wild woods. When we reached flashlights, the geek flame in me truly found its first spark. All I needed was a simple little flashlight, but when we saw this flashlight, me and my dad "awwwed" as only nerds can. It was roughly the size of a lightsaber, and the whole thing was covered in black rubber, with textured hand grips. It had a wrist strap and instead of a usual sliding on/off button, it had a clicky button, right where your thumb was - just like a lightsaber. Now, at first I didn't see the resemblance to the famed laser sword, I just thought it was a darn cool piece of illuminating hardware. My dad however, in explaining to my mother why I needed this quite expensive flashlight remarked, "but honey, it looks just like a lightsaber!"

That was all it took. My mom knew when to step aside and let the Nerd Train pass. Later when we were getting all of our gear packed, my dad asked me, "man to man" if I was okay being in my own tent. I assured him that I would be fine. We weren't backpacking, we camped in the National Park campgrounds with the gravel tent pads. We'd done it a million times, I was sure I'd be fine. While I answered my dad, I was more concerned with swinging my new flashlight around making lightsaber noises.

"Well, its a good thing you won't be scared, because Jedi aren't afraid of anything."

I stopped swinging. He was right, Jedi weren't afraid of anything. Suddenly, this flashlight came with responsibility. Was I ready for it?

Well, my test came the first night of the camping trip. After lounging in front of the fire, the impending clouds told us that it was time to retire to our tents. With her "my-little-boy-is-growing-up" pouty smile, my mom sad good night as my dad zipped me in my tent. About an hour later, the clouds had let loose a torrential rainstorm. I was not a fan. I tried to stay hunkered down in my sleeping bag and block it all out, but rain is really loud on a little tent. The flashes of lightening making silhouettes of the trees on the walls of my tent and the rolling thunder echoing in the mountains didn't help either. I was on the verge of terrified. Maybe I wasn't ready to be in my own tent. I'm sure my mother was thinking the same thing.

Then I saw the handle of my flashlight peaking out of my back pack. Echoing like Obi-Wan's voice to Luke as he made the Death Star trench run, I heard my dad: "Jedi aren't afraid of anything." I had a lightsaber didn't I? I had a stack of X-Men comic books didn't I? As I began reading, I didn't even notice the rain. While the storm continued outside I fell asleep with my lightsaber in my arms, complete with dead batteries.

For the rest of the trip, I hung the flashlight from my belt, ready at any moment for a chance to be brave.

I hope that explains, just a little, why I am the way I am.

Sancho

A Celebration of Special-Ness

2005-04-20T20:20:00.000-07:00

Before the University of Northern Colorado was called the University of Northern Colorado, it was known as the Colorado State Normal School. Colleges that trained teachers used to be known as "normal schools." I don't know why. Let that be your useless trivia for the day.

One thing I didn't realized that I missed from the last time I worked in a fast food restaurant was the feeling that I was the most normal one there. Luckily my new job has rekindled that feeling. Now, most people who know me know that I have always prided myself on not being normal, so why would I revel in normality? Well the kind of normal I strive for is listening to cool bands you've never heard of, or playing with Star Wars action figures like I was 11. I like old TV shows and, though I have a penis, also watch Gilmore Girls. When I'm bored in class I imagine well choreographed Jedi-inspired fight scenes unfolding in my classroom. I have a blog that no one reads.

My co-workers on the other hand, have bullet wounds. They are tall, burly African American women that sing Usher songs when no customers are around and wonder who their baby's daddy is. They are on parole. They are all very nice people, but I feel so wonderfully white-bread, raised in the suburbs that it makes me happy.

I feel very safe in my normality, and I like it.

Sancho

Observations From My First Day At My New Job

2005-04-19T15:07:00.000-07:00

The phrase, "My balls end up looking like cupcakes" was heard.
I saw a Mexican family rocking out to "I Want to Sex You Up" in the dining room. I am relatively sure that they didn't know what was being sung about.
I discovered that making attractive looking ice cream cones is much harder than it looks, mine tend to lean.
I was utterly fascinated by the cone dip mixture and had to fight the urge to put my hand in it.
The phrase, "We're not going to fire you because your balls aren't big enough" was also heard.
I only splattered ice cream and topping all over myself and the kitchen once using the mixing machine.
I learned that not everyone who gets a job at a fast food establishment has an understanding of 5th grade math.

All in all it was a good first day. I am looking forward to day number two and to a career that doesn't lock me in the back room with bras and panties that I'm not even allowed to try on...

Just Kidding...

Or am I?

Sancho

A Day In The Life

2005-04-14T15:59:00.000-07:00

Today, I read "The Best Sandwhich" at a presentation for UNC's Research day. I'm not sure what Research Day is exactly, but I got to read my story, and you didn't.

I know I told you I'd post about prom, and I will... later.

In the mean time all you need to know is that Star Wars Toys rule all, and therefore make the world go 'round. I will, however, talk about my new job. I need to go in there a little bit and get my schedule for next week, which implies they will be scheduling me for shifts, a concept lost on my other place of employment. I am excited for this new job. I know it shan't be the most glamerous undertaking, but I know its something I can do, and be pretty good at, with out a great deal of effort. I used to work at a fast food place before, and I r0x0red at it. It will be nice to be good at something for a change. Being around people is good too.. even though I might not be around nice ones all the time.

In other news, I am pretty much over the Strep Throat. Being healthy is good.

That is all.

Wow this post turned out to be alot more journally than I usually like to post. Oh well...

Sancho

Curse You Internet!!

2005-04-11T19:23:00.000-07:00

Ha! I caught you! You were sitting there thinking, "Wow he's done it again; he's flat out abandoned us." Well, wrong you are, I am back and medicated. That's right, I have strep throat. Let the world wide contamination begin!

I had a lengthy post on the way, but somewhere between writing it, and publishing it to the web, Blogger decided to suck it into the vortex of Doom, and it has vanished. Here's a short version.

Over the last couple of days, two things have happened that made me feel like I was 17 years old again:

1. I got a part time job at... a well known food establishment specializing in "hot eats and cool treats."
2. I went to The Prom.

Soon, hopefully later today, I will have it in its entirety for you. I'm sure you are just giddy with anticipation.

Sancho

A Sancho's Island Guide to Surviving Loneliness

2005-04-08T10:53:00.000-07:00

Its a fact, I have been known to randomly disappear from the Internet with narrow a post to satisfy my public. I'm sorry, but these things happen. Today I thought I would provide you with links to a few other website that I read daily and that will be able to hold you over if I vanish.

Penny Arcade - Web comics are what makes the world go round. Penny Arcade is a comic strip published Monday, Wednesday and Friday that is aimed at the gamer audience. Accompanying the strip, are news posts which are just as much a reason to visit the site as the comic is.
Dooce.com - Now this is something everybody can enjoy. Dooce is a wonderful website written by a woman living in Utah. Her main claim to fame is that she was "dooced" (fired from her job for blogging), but her website is more than that. In her own words, "I talk a lot about poop, boobs, my dog, and my daughter." Its hard not to enjoy her posts, even Lisa reads Dooce.
Gorillamask.net - At the other end of the scale is Gorilla Mask. This site is aimed at the college boy demographic, but actually features good writing and actual humor. The Mask also posts daily web finds to all sorts of random, strange, bizarre Internet stuff. I am a member of their forums as well. Good times for all...
The Moxie Blog- The most specific site here, the Moxie blog chronicles the planning, process, and (eventual) opening of an independent movie theatre in Missouri. It's interesting and funny and much more than a boring business log. Currently, they are auctioning off the naming rights to their concession stand for some extra funds.

So there you have it, more than enough sites to keep you busy when I up and leave. Don't say I've never done anything for you...

Who Knows How Long I'll Stay Around,
Sancho

EDIT: I just find it humorous that the Blogger spell check
a) doesn't have "blog", "blogging", or "blogger" in the dictionary, and
b) suggested I replace the unknown word, "boobs" with "boobies"...

How I Spent My Blogger Vacation.

2005-04-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

Yes I've been gone. Yes, I'm back. Yes, I'll probably unexpectedly leave for an undisclosed amount of time. Yes, it still won't matter because no one reads this. For once, rather than be ashamed of my absence, I figured I would share with you everything else that I did while I obviously wasn't blogging. So in no particular order:

What I Did While I (Obviously) Wasn't Blogging:

Had Lisa's little sister Laurie as a house guest for a week over her spring break. We laughed, we cried, and we might have have even learned something about ourselves.
Saw the Colorado Rockies beat the San Diego Padres in their home opener at Coors Field.
Became INCREDIBLY addicted to TheFacebook.com (Click here to Facebook Me)
Wrote a "short, short story" for creative writing class (Click here to read it in the Notebook)
wrote a 7 page research paper ("In Between Watching and Being: Parody in The Real Inspector Hound"), a 10 page review essay ("The Story of a City: Tom Noel's Denver, The City and the Saloon"), a 7 minute long oral report ("The Five Poetic Phases of William Butler Yeats"), and the aforementioned short, short story, and had 2 tests all within a 8 day period. (PITY ME)
Went to the Car Show in Denver
Saw (and rated) the following movies. A star (*) indicated a movie I saw for the first time.

The Graduate* 9/10
Get Over It 8/10
Flight of the Phoenix (2005)* 7.5/10
Gimme Shelter* 8/10
The Truman Show 8.5/10
National Treasure 8/10
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider* 8/10
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider: The Cradle of Life* 7/10
Eulogy* 5/10
Napoleon Dynamite* 9/10
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind* 9.5/10
The Incredibles (9/10)
Collateral* 8/10
Legally Blonde* 6.5/10
The Stepford Wives (2004)* 7.5/10
Star Wars Clone Wars (The Animated Micro Series)* 8/10
(And probably a few more I am forgetting...)

Experienced the pure joy of a 43 inch plasma screen TV at Lisa's parents' house over spring break.
Painted my old bedroom and realized that in Hell, in the special room reserved for murderers and betrayers, the punishment will be eternally removing wall paper.
Became thoroughly addicted to NCAA March Madness.
Tweaked the arrangement of things here on the Island and gave the Notebook a new, minimalist, theme.
Didn't get a job.

See? I was busy. Let see how long I can post "regularly" this time, shall we?

Yours Eventually,
Sancho

School Still Goes On

2005-03-30T11:39:00.000-07:00

Not Dead, just busy. Going to school requires a lengthy time commitment, go figure. More to come, but in the mean time, gorge yourself on my latest work form my creative writing class, as always posted on Sancho's Notebook: Street Scene.

Like I said, not dead,
Sancho

PS Give me your money.

A Friend In Need

2005-03-09T10:40:00.000-07:00

I will keep this post short because:

a) It is my birthday and I have better things to do...
b) Like study for the two mid term exams I have tomorrow.. bah!

Anyway, over to your right you may notice the spiffy new box in the sidebar. That my friends, is where you can selflessly donate some of your hard earned...earnings and help support Sancho's Island, and in turn, Me. You all know I am having trouble finding work, and rent is a scary, scary word, so if you can help out, please feel free to do so.

Also since it is my birthday, now is as good of time as ever to remind you that my Wish List is available for viewing and purchasing from.

Wow, I am a selfish bastard, "buy me this, give me your money."

But seriously, buy me stuff and give me your money....

Please?

I have no shame...or money
Sancho

Not His Strongest Suit

2005-03-08T18:42:00.000-07:00

So apparently there have been some technical issues as of late. My cool masthead graphic disappeared off of the face of The Internets, as did the server that was hosting it. I broke the Internet. Anyways, I found a new place to host it, but the catch is the image itself is now a link to their site. Sorry. Just remember that if you want to get back to the main page, click "Home."

Now, on to the regularly scheduled post.

On Friday, Lisa and I went to a local high school's production of Aida. Overall, the show was very good "especially for a high school." (I loathe that phrase, but I'm sure I'll be hearing it for the rest of my life.) Now when I say "overall", that implies, of course, that there were some aspects of the show that were less than... good.

That aspect's name was Hunter. Hunter, in some sort of Presidential-Election-2000-esque twist of fate, was cast as the male lead. There are several problems with this. I will discuss them in a numbered list, which is very popular now when verbally bashing someone.

1. I'll come right out and say it. Hunter looked like a girl, and not a manly girl, but a dainty little, look-mommy-I-discovered-your-make-up girl.

2. And discovered make up is the understatement of the century. Little puffy triangle sponge? No, I think he slathered that shit on with a trowel.

3. Hunter was, or at least seemed to be (read: SCREAMED) gay. Now, I am in no way saying that being (or not being) gay in any way makes him a worse person or actor, but if you are cast as the male romantic lead in a musical it helps if you seem at least remotely interested in the opposite sex.

4. Hunter tried to be cocky and swaggery, as the role (supposedly) demands. He was going for Han Solo-like charisma. What came out made him look like he was the bastard love child of Barry Manilow and Clay Aiken.

5. Hunter had a decent voice, but he tried to hard. He tried to be the guy from the recording, but he missed the memo that he is but a tiny high school student and that Adam Pascal (the guy from the Broadway Cast Recording) is a classically trained musical theatre GOD.

6. When Hunter was singing one song, apparently the music just over took him and he began anxiously tapping his foot (okay stomping with his whole leg) in time with the music like a horse trying to count to one hundred. It was laughable. And I did. Laugh.

So, in short: Aida = Good. Hunter = Bad. Sorry buddy, just had to get that off of my chest.

Fortune Favors the...gay?
Sancho

Taking One For the Team

2005-03-01T16:14:00.000-07:00

The following post is rated R. Parental Discretion Advised:

So I have a friend (and yes, this really is a separate person, not the old I-am-going-to-talk-about-myself-but-really-say-its-just-a-"friend" bit) who ruptured a disc in her lower back. She might even need surgery. This friend, who is a co worker of mine, is a cute little thing, healthy and fit, even spry, who you would not think would have lower back problems. Oddly enough, however, she plays rugby and is apparently pretty good at it. So I asked my friend, "did you hurt your back playing rugby?" She said that was not how she hurt her back. So I said, "well, how then, did you hurt your back?"

Well... and this is why this post is rated R... it turns out my friend, beside being a sales woman of intimate apparel, and a rugby player, is also very protective of her bold new hair style. So protective in fact,t that recently while sharing a...private rendevous with her man, she declined to share this moment in the customary under-the-covers location for fear it might mess up her hair. Her solution was to take the "lazy" out of la-z-boy, and get the blood pumping in a recliner. Sadly, this too threatened to mash her "do", so she was forced to prop herself up with an elbow and as the result of an extended period of...gyrations, wrenched her back.

As a result of this tremulous whoopee session, she is benched for the season and is facing surgery. Now, she is not a hundred percent sure that her lounge chair copulation is the only factor in her injury, but it certainly aggravated it.

So ladies, next time you shell out a hundred bucks or more for a hair cut, you need to make sure you are willing to do whatever it takes to preserve that precious style... WHATEVER it takes.

Unnamed co-worker, I salute you!

This is why I keep my hair short,
Sancho

Press "One" for Desperate

2005-02-28T15:42:00.000-07:00

So the other day, I did a "phone interview" with PetCo. That's a lie, actually I spent about 20 minutes pressing buttons answering inane questions being asked by the robotic woman who used to work for the phone company.

It was not as frustrating as I am making it out to be, it was really quite funny. I don't understand how anyone could fail this part of the selection process when required to answer questions like these:

"In the past year how many times have you used any of the drugs known as cocaine, crack, ice, speed, LSD, smack horse or blow on the job?"
"In the past year how much money have you taken from your workplace without permission?"
"In the past year how many times have you found yourself in shouting matches with coworkers or customers during working hours?"
"In the past year, how many times have you found yourself in a physical shoving match at your place of employment?"

Sadly this is the biggest development in my search for a new job... and as of yet I haven't heard anything from PetCo... I know I shouldn't have punched that old lady.. but she wanted a thong, what would you have done? I mean seriously?

With wide open availability,
Sancho

Come for the design, stay for the Oscar Coverage

2005-02-27T23:32:00.000-07:00

Remember the good ol' days? When movies I've seen won major awards? I miss Return of the King, and Chicago, and you know other movies I have heard. Heck, I'd even settle for Gladiator or, gasp, even Titanic. I like to think I am a movie buff, but this year I felt like I was watching the Source Awards, I didn't have a clue what was going on. The award I cared the most about was Best Animated Picture, and thankfully I was not disappointed. Lisa was equally non-informed about this year's major contenders, but that didn't stop her from choosing her picks from the 4 seconds of footage she was exposed to. I kid, but she ended up doing pretty good, she had an eye for Million Dollar Baby, as did the Academy apparently.

I also miss Billy Crystal. What happened to flashy openings and seeing Billy in Pirates of the Caribbean? Chris Rock didn't put himself in any movies, he just made jokes, and I guess it was okay. If anyone could make fun of so many stars, it would be Chris Rock. Sean Penn didn't like it very much, which did make it a bit more worth it. But really, was it just me or was Jamie Foxx the only one laughing? He did have a lot to smile about it, I'd be happy if I could pull off a purple pin striped suit in a formal event.

So even though I didn't have a lot invested in the races, I enjoyed the show overall. The songs this year were presented quite well. Who knew Beyonce was talented? I'm sure landing the gig to perform three of the five songs will bump up her career, but for me all it did was remind me how much the music she usually sings sucks ass.

Oh and there was a new format designed to save time. Chris Rock had it right, drive through Oscars indeed. For all of the flak that Michael Moore got for inviting all of his fellow nominees on stage, the Academy stole his idea. I didn't like it. What, were the technical award winners not house trained?

Other random observations:

Why did they use the Star Trek and Terminator music for segues and such?
Drew Barrymore did look hot in her role as Goth Chick , but why did she get to present anything?
According to Lisa, Pierce Brosnan is still hot, just FYI.
Sadly Natalie Portman did not when an award for playing a stripper, but for her fans, Natalie Portman playing a stripper is a special award in itself...
Kirsten Dunst stole Legolas's hair, it looked better on Orlando Bloom.
Okay, insert the obligatory comment about the lead singer from Counting Crows' hair, but did you see the drummer? He looked like Ted Danson on a bender...
Best performance by a presenter in a Hot Red Dress: Emmy Rossum
What in God's name did Prince win and Oscar for?

I'd Like to thank the Academy (the Jedi Academy, that is)
Sancho

Just Call Me "FedEx At Christmas"...

2005-02-26T11:27:00.000-07:00

... Because I deliver so much, content that is. Look at me! I have redesigned, and I'm posting. Huzzah! Welcome to the third incarnation of Sancho's Island. Its really not that different than the last one, I have just tweaked some colors and placement and fonts and what not. I'm still not able to commit the time to do a total redesign the likes of which you have never seen, so you'll just have to stick around and see what happens.

I haven't had the chance to make sure it looks pretty in all browsers, but I'm reasonable confident it looks good in Firefox and IE. If anyone has any problems viewing the page, please let me know. Also, I am using a new image hosting service, so if my mast head image disappears please inform me about that as well.

A couple other site related notes: I'm sorry that I ended up posting all my Molly Brown house pics as separate posts. Rather than upload them to an image hosting service where I could place them in my site as I pleased, I just used Blogger's "Hello" program which posts them individually. Why? Well I was lazy and didn't realize it. Anyways, each pic will hang around in the "Recently" section until I post enough to flush them out. Next time I post multiple pictures, I'll make sure to post them all in one... post. Any because I haven't said "post" enough times: Post you! You Posting Posters!

I will be back soon with non patting-my-self-on-the-back-for-a-spiffy-redesign shortly. Until then, just behold my majesty.

Crafty with the CSS,
Sancho

Photo Time!

2005-02-21T23:06:00.000-07:00

For a history project, I had to visit a historical site in Colorado, so I chose the Molly Brown House. There was also alot of other random snapshots on the roll, so I will share them with you, dear reader.

2005-02-21T23:04:00.001-07:00

The Molly Brown House in Denver Colorado.

2005-02-21T23:04:00.000-07:00

I can't think of something witty, but I'm standing up against a sign, so give me a break.

2005-02-21T23:03:00.001-07:00

History makes strong bones.

2005-02-21T23:03:00.000-07:00

My clothes look better on Lisa, but the same cannot be said about her clothes and me.

2005-02-21T23:02:00.000-07:00

This is Lisa and I before we went to see Jesus Christ Superstar in Denver... she looks great, I look like.. well, like me sadly.

2005-02-21T23:01:00.000-07:00

This is our friend Kyle...wearing Emerald City glasses and looking at a pop up book. Why? Well because they were there... and he really likes pop-up books...

2005-02-21T22:59:00.000-07:00

This is Lisa being happy, this is also what Lisa does not look like when I post pictures like the next one...

2005-02-21T22:57:00.000-07:00

This is a picture of two things, Lisa streching, and the reason I'll be sleeping on the couch for a couple of nights.

Real Annoying

2005-02-18T21:50:00.000-07:00

Now, I like to think that I am hip, with it and also oh so street. I am all sorts of a rebel and more than once have I stuck it, or at least considered sticking it, to the man. Yet in spite of this, I still offer the question, do cast members of the Real World realize that their grandparents might watch their show?

Yes, today I was coerced into watching some episodes featuring the exploits of the latest hormonal, inebriated group of twentysomethings. I just can't get into it. Its like watching high school all over again, but I have to miss reruns of M*A*S*H* to see it. I would be such a waste on that show. I'd spend most of my camera time saying directly to the camera, "dude, I can't believe I live in this house." The rest of the time, I'd be resetting all of my action figures into their action poses after they've been knocked down by the resident drunk in his most recent binge.

I wonder if I could get the roommates to learn how to play Dungeons and Dragons... well maybe the camera crew...

Roll to see if I'm drunk
Sancho

Ashes to Ashes...

2005-02-17T23:46:00.000-07:00

It is with a heavy heart that the Island anounces the passing of one of our own. Pedro the Beta fish has left us. Pedro lived a long life, almost exactly two years. He conquered adversity and survived in some of the harshest conditions. He was a good, happy fish and will never been forgotten. He is survived by two sad humans and a dirty bowl.

Rest in Peace, Pedro. Remeber my scaled friend, "all drains lead to the ocean."

Pedro the Thrid
February 2003 - February 17th, 2005

Long Post From A Long Lost Poster

2005-02-17T14:08:00.001-07:00

I love you all, I really do. I love each and every one of the...0ne or so people that read this website. Sadly, the case is that sometimes you hurt the ones you love. I know my lack of content is quite a blow, but I hit you because I love you baby.

Actually, it turns out that going to class takes up time, and doesn't leave as much extra time as not going to class. Its been a bit of a work in progress to balance school, homework, not working, job hunting and video gaming, not to mention blogging. But apparently I've made it work so some extent, because I am going to all of my classes, doing the homework, turning in job applications (not hearing anything from them, mind you), playing X Men Legends, and now here I am dusting off the ol' website. Embrace my mediocrity.

At the moment, I am writing this post on a very svelte iMac in the computer lab in the Education Department building. I don't really know what that has to do with anything, but I feel very modern using a Mac and wanted to share that feeling with the Internets.

At this point in the returning-from-a-long-lull-in-posting post, I would fill you in on what has been going on in my life since my last post. This is when I realize that I don't really have much of a life to fill you in on. Valentine's Day came and went and was absolutely fabulous, but all I'll tell you about that is I bet mine was better than yours, ha! I beat Jedi Academy not once, but twice, simply because I could. I wrote a nifty dialogue scene that was posted on the Notebook. My class seemed to dig it, and the teacher had some good things to say about it, which made my feel a little bit better about my future as a writer.

Oh! My writing, that's a good topic, let's talk about that for a while! (High Five for stream-of-conscious posting!) As I have made it known, I am in a creative writing class. Its not so much an introductory class as was toted in the title (Introduction to Creative Writing). Its more like an on going workshop. Its assumed you already know how to write creatively and the class is more discussion based critiquing pieces we write for the class.

I really struggled with the first assignment: write a narrative scene. What is a narrative scene you ask? "Anything without dialogue." Hmmm, that's a little vague. So I wallowed on my writer's block and waited for something to come to me. Eventually it did, my charming Hippo story, but until I wrote that, I was seriously freaking out. Our class wasn't filled with the next batch of amazing writers, but it was filled with people who could think of something to write, and write it in a timely fashion. Also, everyone's pieces strove for "deepness" some achieved it, some did not, but mine was the only piece about Hippos. Don't get me wrong, I loved Dodger and Betsey probably more than I should have, but none the less I felt out of place.

Our next assignment, the dialogue scene, made me more at ease. For some reason, even though I consider writing dialogue a weak point of mine, this scene came to my very easily. The class responded well, and if I may say so, and I may since I am Jeremy L Dennis and this is my website, mine was one of the better pieces of the class. A note regarding my class, I seemed to have endeared myself to the female members, while managing to alienate myself from the male members. By writing a piece that is sympathetic and understanding of the "female condition" (a quote from a girl in my class, not me) and by admitting I got the names for my characters from "The Newlyweds", I have been disowned by the men in the class, and have bonded with the women. Not a bad thing in my opinion, but worth noting, nonetheless.

The next assignment, the "short, short story," both intrigues me and scares me. I am eager write something a bit different (perhaps something more action packed with ninjas and pirates...or ninja pirates, to meet the male demands of the class), but I don't know what it will be.

Lately I have been asked about the status of "A Better Moon." It is still alive, I assure you, but it is on a holding pattern while I am in this class. I want to focus on the assignments for this class as unique things, and hopefully take some of what I've learned and picked up from the class, and then resume work on my werewolf opus. I have mapped out events for the rest of the story and more, and am now aware of some things I want to revisit and edit, but I want to make the most of my writing class as a thing apart from my "novel". Take the word of the guy who ignored his blog for a few weeks: trust me, I won't forget about it.

Let me tell y'all what its like, bein' male, middle class and white,
Sancho

Call off the Vultures!

2005-02-09T22:17:00.000-07:00

I'm not dead, just busy. Updates coming soon. Quench your thirst for content by reading the newest work posted on Sancho's Notebook: "Clockwork"

Sancho

I Just Can't Compete

2005-01-25T22:41:00.000-07:00

The following was heard before my creative writing class. Today some of the class was going to read their stories aloud:

Strange girl: "I hope the class is ready for my story, its pretty violent."

Me: "My story is about a zookeeper..."

Strange Girl: "Mine is about a murder suicide."

Me: "... mine has hippos."

Congested

2005-01-24T13:10:00.000-07:00

Me and Lisa are sick. Well actually she was sick first, an in my selfless act of caring for her, I got sick as well. I don't blame her, such an accusation would betray my unselfish and pure heart...

Anyway, you would think being sick would give me all the time in the world to think up witty and entertaining posts. Actually all I have been doing is sitting on the coach watching Fern Gully and feeling sorry for myself. I apparently am a big helpless baby when I'm sick ("just like all men are when they get sick," chimes in Lisa...)

Lisa has taken the more active route and has become an eBay addict. I'm not even kidding. She was able to nab a Kate Spade bag for like 100 dollars cheaper than the retail price, to which I say. "100 less than the retain price? WTF? That implies that a purse had a retail price of substantially more than 100.. which is sad."

What I would be doing in my sickness is reading Frankenstein for my British Lit class. I'm plodding through. I like the story but the writing just drags. Also, Victor Frankenstein should be renamed Franken-whine. (Ba-Zing!) That's all he does! Here are some examples:

"I rushed out of the room and continued a long time traversing my bed-chamber, unable to compose my mind to sleep... and I threw myself on the bed in my clothes..." (Chapter 5)

"Do not ask me," cried I, putting my hands before my eyes, for I thought I saw the dreaded spectre glide into the room; "*he* can tell. Oh, save me! Save me!" (also Chapter 5)

"I rushed out of the court in agony and tears." (Chapter 8)

"I gnashed my teeth and ground them together, uttering a groan that came from my inmost soul." (Chapter 8)

"I wept bitterly and wished that peace would revisit my mind." (Chapter 9)

"I alighted and threw myself on the grass, weighed down by horror and despair." (Chapter 10)

Yes I know Vic is overwhelmed by the guilt of his creation being responsible for the death of two loved ones, but he is all about the drama. Get over it Victor, and make a plan, get going, be a man of action. Stop playing the problem!

If only Mary Shelley knew what I did... I was born 200 years too late...

Give my creation Life!
Sancho

Dodger and Betsey

2005-01-19T20:05:00.000-07:00

Sancho's Notebook has been updated with a charming (according to me anyways) tale of love, lust and Hippos... except not the first two things... check it out!

Sancho

A Matter of Time

2005-01-17T23:16:00.000-07:00

So in addition to attempting to corner the market on women's unmentionables, the well-known-women's-intimate-apparel chain for which I work has recently deemed it self in charge of the space time continuum. The clocks at my place of employment are 17 minutes fast. 17?? At first I just thought that maybe our store is really picky about time zones.

Five minutes fast or so I can understand. But 17? Its like a plot designed to make every associate really late. Its interesting because most of the girls I work with make an effort to observe this Bizarro time. I don't. I firmly stand against such temporal manipulation. You can't do that! You can't just decide that it's some other time. Its TIME.

So next time that I show up to work "17 minutes late" and some one says something I firmly answer that I have decided that it's really four hours from now, so I'm going home.

Time keeps on slippin, slippin, slippin...
Sancho

Video Games Are Fun Part Two

2005-01-15T15:56:00.000-07:00

As promised here is my review for...

X Men Legends

Much like my Star Wars related tunnel vision, I have an equally special place in my heart for anything of the X-Men persuasion. In the video game world, the X-Men have been largely confined to fighting games. I for one have enjoyed them, but I just might be the only one. Luckily for me and the gaming community at large, the X Men have finally got a game that does them justice and is equally appealing to X Men fans and video game fans overall.

X Men Legends is a 3-d "Action RPG" It features great beat-em-up action with the depth of character growth and customization along the lines of a Dungeons and Dragons style RPG. It has been compared to the great Baulder's Gate Dark Alliance games. While it does have some similarities with those games it also stands apart as a great title of its own.

Combat is fast and intense, switching characters is handled easily and allows for some variety of play styles. If you wish, you can micromanage and switch characters continuously, or you can just pick your favorite X Men and keep with them for the most part. At first the prospect of controlling four characters seemed daunting, but its becomes second nature. Like Baulder's Gate games, defeating enemies gives your experience points (XP) that allow you to level up your character, gaining stat points (as in D&D) and upgrading and unlocking new mutant powers. The focus in on melee and many character can add their mutant powers to punches and kicks making it even more cool to beat people.

As in Baulder's Gate titles, there are items and "potions" that can be found and bought. The potions system works great and is pretty much identical to Baulder's Gate and Diablo and the like. They are even colored red and blue. Items come in the form of armor, backpacks and belts. While these items are important, they are not essential to have in order to have a powerful character as in other action RPGs. Characters upgrade enough on their own that you don't need the most powerful and expensive armor to complete the game. That works well as it fits in well wit the style of the game and the universe it takes place in.

There are some aspects of an RPG that don't mesh well with the X-Men Universe, mainly currency. A currency system feels out of place, but the "tech bits" used in the game are the best way available to make it fit in with the story.

So if this game had only its depth, great combat and above average graphics, sound and music, it would still be a great game for anyone. Luckily for comics nerds such as myself this game is OVERFLOWING with treasures for X Men fans. There are mini games that test your X Men trivia knowledge, you can peek into each X Man's room and look at little bits of their personal history. Characters act and talk "in-character," there are cameos by other characters. This is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the goodies that are in store for fans. The naming and empowering of unique armor and backpacks is done specifically for fans.

Of particular note is the ability to play "flashback" levels that let you play encounters from classic issues of the X Men comic books. My favorite one puts you in the original 60's uniforms back when Iceman looked more like Slushman...

X Men Legends finally give the greatest comic book ever a legitimate claim to game fame to match the status of their great movies and its a joy to play. Also Highly recommended

Video Games Are Fun

2005-01-14T20:55:00.000-07:00

So my last two posts were about school... That's okay, but let me assure you dear reader this is more than a one note website! It has two or maybe even three notes at least!

Earlier I mentioned that this Christmas season blessed me with two rather wonderful video games. I would like to take time now to discuss them in more detail. Lisa, this post is about video games, you can stop reading now.

Star Wars Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy

Let me preface this review by stating that I have an unfair bias regarding any game with Star Wars in its title. Even if it is not a good, or even decent example of video gaming per se, I will still love the game because it has Star Wars associated with it. (Case in point: Star Wars Bounty Hunter) I do however, consider myself enough of a discerning gamer to truly evaluate this game's merit regardless of how bitchin' lightsabers are.

In Star Wars Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy you are a hopeful student enrolled in Luke Skywalker's (you guessed it:) Jedi Academy. You get to customize your character right down to the style and color of your lightsaber. At the moment I am running a very sultry purple Twi'Lek through the game.

Jedi Academy continues the series that began with the FPS (first-person shooter) Star Wars Dark Forces. This was an old computer game that followed a mercenary named Kyle Katarn through first person gunning gameplay ala Halo or Half Life. Later, Kyle became a Jedi and the camera moved to the third person view. The controls however are largely unchanged from the series' first person roots meaning both sticks control character movement in the same way they do for an FPS. Because of the control scheme, this game is aimed at people who have played the series and are used to this setup to control a 3rd person character. This is one of my only complaints about the game. I, for one am not too familiar with the FPS genre. I never really played the other games in this series, and the way the story goes in this game, you really don't have to. So for me, it took a fair amount of adjustment to successfully navigate around. This game does not control like your typical third person action game. Believe me, it didn't ruin the game for me, but it is worth noting.

Perhaps the best thing about this game is the way I really feel like my character is growing and becoming more powerful. This is by no means an RPG like KOTOR and the growth I'm talking about is different. In the first stages of the game it feels like you are just wildly swinging your lightsaber at baddies. It gets the job done, but it lacks the polish of a Jedi Knight. As you progress though you become a better fighter, both "you", the character, and "you", the gamer as you master the control system. Your force powers upgrade, you learn different lightsaber combat styles and eventually you can expand to duel sabers or rock the party Darth Maul style. All of these additions really add to the effect that you are a student who is becoming more and more educated. You'll go from the aforementioned pinata style of combat to accidentally pulling off a cool move to purposely knocking out some sweet looking attacks.

Even though it does become easier to master the lightsaber combat, I still don't think any video game has really captured the true essence of saber combat in an action setting. Using the other joystick in Star Wars: Obi-Wan was good, and the combos in Jedi Power Battles were nice, but still there has always been something lacking. Hopefully the upcoming Episode III game will deliver.

I digress, but speaking of those other two games reminded me of another strength of this title. While the enemies aren't particularly smart, I do greatly appreciate the fact that they fall into two realistic groups: grunts (read: lightsaber fodder) with blasters, and force users with lightsabers that you duel with. I can't tell you how frustrating it is in other titles to whack away at some guy with my saber and have it take like five hits to kill him, or have some droid BLOCK my attack. Block a lightsaber? WTF? Thankfully there are also no enemies (like the soldier in Obi-Wan) that have some sort of magic sword that can resist a lightsaber.

So overall I like the way this game is going. There are a few disappointments, like although I love being a badass and using Force Grip to choke a guy, then slam him on the ground only to pick him up again and toss him off a building, abusing dark side powers doesn't mean anything in terms of story or other characters and things like that. I guess KOTOR spoiled me in that respect.

At the end of the day this is still one of the best Star Wars games and one of the best video games in general I have played. If you are not into Star Wars, the combat and moves should get you interested. Highly recommended

Sancho

Confessions of an Over Achiever

2005-01-13T22:58:00.000-07:00

Two days of classes and I haven't flunked out of school yet! I must be doing something right.

This may come as a bit of a shock, but I would classify myself as a rather talkative person. That is why in my college career I have found it odd that in classes I tend to clam up and try to blend in and be quiet (Other than my theatre classes where its a lot easier to talk since I'm surrounded by other loud mouth theatre people who don't shut up, just like me!). I think I have discovered the reason for this phenomena. This is sad, but I don't think I have ever really been as prepared for classes and eager to show off that preparedness as I have been these last few days. I'd either skip readings and just make it up before the test, or skim readings and not feel confident enough in my half assed opinions.

Now, even by my second day of class I have reclaimed my title of the verbose freak I am. I talk in class. A lot. Too much?

"Questions such as these are not to be answered by the academic they must be left for the heart to solve."

And I, it can be said, have plenty of heart... or voice or.. whatever.

Here's the thing. I hate sitting in a class when the teacher asks a question or requests comments and the there is no response.. AT ALL. Its interesting, for the first few seconds the class sits looking expectantly at everyone else with a look of "go ahead, the man asked a question." Then everybody realizes that no one is going to say anything so they all simultaneously look down and try to avoid eye contact with the teacher, as though if the teacher does not see the pupil of your eye you are indeed rendered invisible.

I hate that awkward silence. As a future teacher I can certainly imagine how the teacher feels. So today I sucked it up and talked. Usually I have something intelligent to say, but if I think I can at least get the ball rolling enough for someone to speak up and say that I'm an idiot I do it. I take one for the team. I'm just that kind of a guy.

Usually that works and the class realized that its okay to speak. In my Intro to Film class though I chimed in with my opinion and then the Silence remained and the vicious cycle started again. So, I spoke again. And again, nothing. In this class I really got into the reading and had alot to say, but I know this isn't just MY class, but if no one else steps up to the plate, I keep going. Then something odd began to happen. I began to sense resentment from the class for talking so much. I think they already see me as the kind of guy who is trying win the teacher over or something. I'm not that guy, I just have the testicles to speak. If you don't like that then TALK.

I don't mind though, I'd rather be liked by the teacher then by the class... which is sad.

In other news, my creative writing teacher (the one who called a kid an "educated fucker") got even cooler today. He got into class about ten minutes before the class started, so there were only about 10 of us in there. This is what he tells us:

"So there's a reading due on Tuesday according to the syllabus, but I made it up, it's not in your book, its not real, but on Tuesday I want you guys to just make up shit about it in the discussion we're going to have. It will really mess people up."

And then he chuckled for a good five minutes in his whimsical old-Asian-man way that warms my heart.

I love school.

Moving to the head of the class,
Sancho

School Daze

2005-01-12T23:33:00.000-07:00

So yesterday was my first day of classes, and I was loaded up with homework, specifically tons of reading. I am proud to say I have it all done and for the first time in recent memory I am completely 100% prepared for every single class I have tomorrow. Its a good feeling.

School looks promising and as of yet is relatively uneventful, save for when my 60 year old Asian creative writing teacher called a student who used a big word in class an "educated fucker."

Lisa however did have an "event," and is not too happy with me and the Internet for taking joy in her embarrassment... Oh well:

So the lovely and talented Lisa had a busy schedule today, she had to work in the afternoon, run out and by school supplies, stop at the high school where she observes classes and make it back to the campus for a late afternoon class. Today was the first day of that class.

Breathlessly after running all over God's creation and with a fresh three ring binder in her arms, Lisa rushed into the classroom where her 3:00 o'clock class was held and took a seat in the back. Much to her dismay the class looked to not only be already in session but involved in some sort of discussion.

Then Lisa realized that the class she was in was not the class she was supposed to be in. She figured maybe this class was running late and her class would start soon, though she didn't see anyone else waiting outside. She'd just wait in the back and no one would notice she was there.

Then the teacher said, "Wait, who just came in?" At this point I'm sure Lisa has wished she had blended into the color of her surroundings like a chameleon, but alas, she hadn't. Adopting an all-to-comfortable tone with the teacher (whom was obviously not the one for her class) she said, "Oh I'm just hear waiting for Methods to start at three."

Then the clincher: "Umm Methods starts at 3:30"

I'm sure at this point Lisa blinked twice, like in the cartoons when each blink makes that TINK, TINK sound.

Holding together her dignity and once again trying to be all-too casual Lisa replies, "oh, well I guess my schedule must be wrong, I'm sorry," And bolts out of the room leaving a class full of freshmen theatre majors wondering who the smartly dressed but out of place mystery woman was.

Then she ran home all cute and red faced and told me of her embarrassment.

And then I told the Internet.

Someday you'll thank me...

Hopefully not in the dog house,
Sancho

I Felt Like Chicken Tonight, Like Chicken Tonight

2005-01-11T22:48:00.000-07:00

So today there were no plumbing disasters so me and Lisa were finally free to try some recipes from our new cook (one link) books (another link). Though these books are aimed at lazy college students (like us) the meal we prepared was refreshingly... adult. The menu?

Italian Breaded Chicken Sticks
Baked Potatoes
Garlic Tomoato Halves

Everything turned out very, very good. Next time though we wanted get some marinara to dip the chicken in and let the potatoes cook just a bit longer. The best part? We have left overs!

Today was the first day of my classes, but I'll save that for tomorrow.

Off to spend some quality time with my fellow chef!

If I'd of known you were comin'...
Sancho

Sad and Dangerous Bath Toys

2005-01-10T13:18:00.000-07:00

So last night me and Lisa were trying to finish up some laundry and sort through the carnage of the "new-black-socks-being-washed-with-white-socks-and-underwear" incident when Lisa proclaims, "I hear water!" And runs out of the room to the kitchen.

Earlier that night we had noticed that our sinks were a little backed up with nasty drain water. It was just filling the bottom so we figured we'd wait until morning and then call our land lord and all would be well. We were wrong.

When Lisa reached the kitchen she found that the sinks had not only completely overflowed but that the deluge of foul water was creating a waterfall down our counter and filling up all of our drawers with nasty water. After the customary swearing and cursing the god of plumbing we got work. We emptied all of the drawers, which held all of our utensils and tupperwear and the like into the bathtub. Then we carefully carried the drawers that were quite literally filled with grey water and dumped those out. Then we started to bail out the sinks. Did I mention that the regurgitated water also had little bits of food and such in it? Well it did and it was gross. After getting the kitchen as cleaned up as possible it became clear that we would have to get all of those dirty things in our tub clean.

Since our tub/shower has sliding doors, there was really only room for one of us to get down and dirty with the dishes. Lisa volunteered and over the course of two hours she washed close to half of the dishes we own. Our tub has always drained slow, so every ten minutes she would have to stop and let the water drain out before she could resume washing. The result was a tub filled with what has become the title of this post: floating potato peelers, some knives, a ladle or two, cheese graders etc. Lisa coined the phrase and I liked it so much I had to use it as my title.

By 2:30 in the morning we had managed to get as much of the house clean from this mess as we could and finished dealing with our still wet laundry. Classes started today but luckily I don't have any and Lisa's first class wasn't until 1:25.

The plumber is due soon, so hopefully we can get our kitchen reassembled and put back all of the random kitchen stuff that is air drying all over the apartment.

What a way to start the semester.

Drain, Drain, Go Away,
Sancho

AAAAARRRG!!!

2005-01-09T23:55:00.000-07:00

Water Sucks! Details to follow...

Getting Back Into The Swing Of Things

2005-01-09T01:06:00.000-07:00

The Christmas Tree has been taken down. Yes, I knew it took a while. It is officially time to get moving on to 2005. For me, the New Year really hasn't started yet. That feeling of starting something new is yet to occur. It will though, once school starts.

What? School? I bet you thought I dropped out of school, didn't you? Well I did, but now I dropped back in. Exciting, no? It turns out the full time job market in Greeley isn't that large. Without a full time job I can't support myself. That's bad. So after thinking things over and over I decided there are many good reasons for going back to school. First of all, its school, and I get to learn stuff. I know I had some teensy motivation problems last semester, but I don't think that will be a problem this time. I can't explain why, I just have a feeling this time I really will get into school.

Another reason I am going back to school is a practical one. If I am enrolled in school, I can get student loans, then I only have to work part time. Its not the best reason to go to school (and its not the main reason that I am) but it does help me out.

So I am a student again. Considering I registered for classes a few days before they start, I was still able to get a pretty good schedule. I'm taking British Lit II, Creative Writing: Fiction, History of Colorado and Film Studies. All of which are classes that I have been wanting to take since I started college. Registering so late in the game, I still am unable to take and theatre or education classes, but this course load will work great. Another benefit is that all of these classes are on Tuesday and Thursday. That means I have five days during the week completely open to work. I don't want to work full time, but I does leave me flexible availability for a better part time job.

Yep, I'm trying to leave the well-known-women's-intimate-apparel chain for which I work. They just aren't consistent enough with hours, and in general its just a head ache being there. So as soon as I get settled in to school, I'm back out pounding the pavement looking for work.

In other news, my break turned out pretty good. I was noticeably absent from posting here, but I did freshen up my design a bit. I figured I'd wait on a redesign until I had time to really enjoy this design. That, and I got lazy... and I got two really good video games for Christmas. Don't worry, X-Men Legends and Star Wars Jedi Knight: Jedi Academy will merit full posts soon.

So it is the New Year and a fitting time for resolutions. While I won't bore you with my personal resolutions, I will share what I've been thinking about this site. I am well aware that the number of readers of this site can be counted on one hand... one hand with a couple missing fingers. I'm okay with that for now, but I aim to make that change. I realized however, that its silly to worry about who is reading this site unless I commit to make it a site worth reading. That is my first step. This site will still be my personal rants and rave about my life. While I can't promise any revolutionary content, I hopefully can at least promise content itself. I know I slack off and don't update as often I want, and then I wonder why no one reads this. So I will develop a routine for this site and then, when I have that in place I will work to get it noticed.

That is a short term goal, and a worthy one. I have been thinking about long term goals as well. Lately I have been seeking out a good Forum community to join. I want to meet people and be at least be a social internet addict. Sites like this one are a little to frat-boy for me. Penny Arcade has good forums, but they topic centered and are not general enough. The Sluggite Zone had good forums, but I don't read Sluggy Freelance any more, so I don't think I'd be welcome there... The point of this rambling is that at some point in the future I would like Sancho's Island to be associated with a good forum. A friend of mine had an idea to create a web community for UNC though forums, a place where people from around the college could talk, socialize, debate and promote their own particular events and performances in an environment that was not too serious, but not overridden by the typical "college" immaturity. He had a good dream, I'd just like to make it on a larger scale.

So now I have goals. I'm a student with a webpage. Hopefully this year will allow me to see both of those things work out to their fullest extent.

That was so lame. And this post is long. Congratulations for making it through.

Seriously

Watch Out For That Tree
Sancho

Sad but True

2004-12-16T19:03:00.000-07:00

Monday's "Heart of the City" makes me glad I'm going into the Arts...

Notes

2004-12-16T15:23:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the unexpected vacation from the Island. I would love to catch you up with all that has happened since my last post, and I will, soon. But first: I received a note on my car this morning. It was on bright orange paper (which I realized upon further examination, was just a ripped up envelope). It read:

"This is private parking for residents of apartment number ## (deleted for privacy, but rest assured, it is MY apartment number). This car will be towed at your expense, you have been previously warned.

The Management"

This note irked me for several reasons. First and foremost, I LIVE IN APARTMENT ##! So they are right, it is private parking...FOR ME! Granted Lisa's car usually is parked there, but we do both live here. Did anyone miss my car parked in that spot for about a week without leaving...EVER? I had a dead battery and a broken window and my car as parked there all the live long day for seven live long days.

Second of all, I have never been "warned" ...probably because it is MY SPOT!

Third of all, we don't even have apartment management! We have an old Mexican guy who has lived in this building for so long that the my landlord's company feels bad for him and lets him be in charge of the sprinklers and such. Apparently now he's armed with torn up envelopes and thinks he parking-lot-God.

So in response, I taped a note to this inside of my window, along with the sad little orange scrap. Mine was printed (that's right, from a computer no less) on crisp white copy paper. It read:

"Thank you for your concern for the parking of this building. I feel it is my duty to inform you that this car is mine and I LIVE IN APARTMENT ##. Therefore your threat to tow this car would directly go against your previous statement that this spot is reserved for the people who live in apartment ##...Which is ME.

Sincerely,

The guy who owns this car and the guy who LIVES IN APARTMENT ## (We're the same guy)"

Ten bucks says he keys my car...

Bad as I Wanna Be,
Sancho

UPDATE: So Creepy-Mexican-Wannabe-Manager Guy just knocked on by door and humble mumbled that there might have been a mix up and that he probably had my license plate number. My note scared him! He was all stuttery and everything! And the stutter was more than his I-don't-know-too-much-English stutter! I rule! Oh and who wears dark State Trooper aviator shades at 9:00pm? I don't think I've EVER seen him without those. I don't know what that has to do with anything, but it just bugs me...

Changes Abound

2004-12-08T14:53:00.000-07:00

So, no doubt you noticed the new color scheme a couple of days back. I bet you wondered why I would ever stray from my green roots? Well, now you know. Behold: a graphic masthead!! I think it looks uber-spiffy. I Photoshop-ed it myself to, dontcha know! Its an experiment right now. Since Blogger hosts my website, I cannot have image files as a part of my template unless they are hosted elsewhere on the web. I have found a couple of places that offer "free" hosting. I didn't have to sign up or give any personal information for this "free" hosting, and I am allowed to link the file right from their server, so as of yet it seems too good to be true. I'm assuming there will be some down-time issues, but we shall see. If this does work out and I can have image files hosted for free, expect a redesign of the site around New Year's or so!

Crossing my fingers,
Sancho

SIGH

2004-12-07T23:11:00.000-07:00

It's been a long busy day. Not much to say, but here's a picture of Lisa's dog to hold you over until tomorrow.

An Exciting Day

2004-12-06T17:34:00.000-07:00

On December 6th, 2002, I was being a jerk. While out to dinner with some of my friends. I accidentally (I swear it was) insulted one of them and as a result we all got in a big fight and ended up canceling our plans to go downtown to see the Parade of Lights.

So I was alone and bored and had no one to hang out with on a Friday night. In my despair I wandered down to the lobby of the dorm I lived in at the time only to find my friend Lee sitting on the sofa watching the now-defunct show "Firefly" with a rather beautiful girl. At first glance I didn't recognize this girl, but then I remembered her as "Halloween Girl"

Now we cut to the flashback-within-a-flashback:

On Halloween night of 2002, I was without a ride to what was promised to be a very snazzy Halloween Party. Desperate for transportation I hit up an acquaintance whom I didn't really like all that much for a ride. Well, he didn't have one either, but "some girl" he knew would give us one. Well, beggars can't be choosers, so away I went with a car full of strangers.

The night progressed and I was ready to go home. I found the aforementioned acquaintance and asked him where the girl was that gave us a ride. He said he'd give her a call. Moments later she arrived.

Little did I know at the time, she had left the party early, got all snuggled up in PJs and headed off to bed only to have my acquaintance rouse her from cozy-ness to come schelp our sorry asses home. And she did it! Isn't she nice?

We now return you to our regularly scheduled flashback.

Well Lee and Halloween Girl (who were not a couple, I checked) we joining some other people in HG's (Halloween Girl) room to watch Internet cartoons and share in assorted merriment. I didn't have plans, and HG was Really Hot, so I obliged.

The cartoons were funny (that was also the night I discovered Homestar Runner) but I didn't pay much attention. I wanted HG to notice me. Besides being pretty, she also seemed quite funny and entertaining. I was nervous though, the group of frolickers in her room were all men. I had a lot of competition! I believe I started by "absent-mindedly" playing with her hair while she was at the computer. Then I "absent-mindedly" sat quite close to her on the floor while we sipped hot chocolate.

Something I did must of worked. From that night on we became inseparable. HG and I started a relationship by the seat of our pants, love at first sight on a wing and a prayer. And it worked.

Two years later I finally made it to the Parade of Lights, with HG by my side. As I'm sure you have guessed, HG is none other than my girlfriend Lisa, and today is our two year anniversary. I Love You Lisa

If you could only see,
Sancho

Fa-La-La-La-La... You Get The Idea...

2004-12-05T23:37:00.000-07:00

So last night was my official beginning of the Holiday Season. Me and Lisa made the trek downtown (to Denver, the real downtown, not "downtown" Greeley) to see the Parade of (not-necessarily-one-holiday-or-another) Lights. As usual, it was full of well lit holiday spirit. This occasion was of particular note, because it was Lisa's first time seeing the Parade. Then we took the 16th street shuttle to go see the also well-let Denver City and County Building

While we were getting our fill of Holiday warm-fuzzies at the City and County building, they were deflating all of the balloons they used in the Parade. It was just sad seeing the cute little penguin drum major getting rolled up like a sleeping bag while Rudolph was slowly melting like the Wicked Witch. We bookended the evening with trips to The Cheesecake Factory, first for dinner, then for (you guessed it): Cheesecake. This was graciously provided for us by Lisa's mom. Thank you!

Today, to keep the holiday train a-rollin' we saw the local performance of A Christmas Carol (the same show and group we were a part of last year) and then we decked our own halls, and now our apartment is all ready for Santa (or anyone else who wants to break in and give us presents).

Our holiday season has officially begun. Oh, and please visit tomorrow for a very special post.

Donning my gay apparel,
Sancho

One Down, Two to Go

2004-12-04T14:05:00.000-07:00

The mighty have fallen, I have beaten Jak and Daxter. That's right, I mean the first one, the one that came out like 3 years ago. I know I am not the most up-to-date gamer out there, but what can I say? I wanted to know the story before I resumed the Jak 2 session I started last year (which I will probably restart) and before I ultimately aquire Jak 3. I am taking a break from Jak-ing though and next on the plate is Prince of Persia... yes the first one. I know I am about a year behind, but I like playing catch up. I also like actually beating games, I used to just pay a new game for a while and then start something else and never go back. Now I pick one game and go through it all the way until I beat it, then I usually realize I am done with it forever and sell it to get more games. It's a never ending cycle.

Press Start To Continue,
Sancho

I Have Expanded

2004-12-03T21:19:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I offer both Michelin and Bridgestone, and 24 hour service. Why? Because I care.

You're In Good Hands
Sancho

Typing

2004-12-02T23:42:00.000-07:00

I used to be so cute...what happened? My dad used to be a hippie... what happened?

Back when Bowl Cuts Were In,
Sancho

Things Are Looking Up

2004-12-01T11:55:00.000-07:00

Saints Alive Be Praised, I have working Internet. I can't describe how happy this news makes me. This morning Jonny Fix-It from Comcast came and ended up having to replace my cable modem. Now I have an ultra-chic, ultra-sleet new black Motorola Surfboard, and the best feature is, all of the lights stay on meaning I actually have the internet!

Also as I sit and type, Michael from Glass America is replacing my car's window that was horribly broken by equally horrible thieves. No longer will I have to scrape ice from the inside of my windshield before I can drive. I do have some rather comical pictures of the amount of snow that was inside my car a couple of days ago, that I will post as soon as I get them developed. I still don't have a CD player, but I was able to install the original radio (complete with tape deck, yo!) that came with the car, so at least I have something. Yay for cassette to tape adapters!

There is more good news as I have posted my most current draft of "A Better Moon" on the Notebook. Take a look and leave some comments.

So as you can see, things are looking up. Things at work have even been good. Though I don't (and can't) plan on staying with Victoria's Secret for much longer, that have decided there's not much harm in letting me work out on the floor and help customers. Its a nice change from the claustrophobic confines of the back room and I even get to help crotchety old women by underwear. There are perks everywhere, my friend.

Wow, posting three days in a row. I must think I am pretty cool...

Smile and the Whole World Smiles With You
Sancho

Tell the Fat Lady: She's On In Five

2004-11-30T23:13:00.000-07:00

Sadly it is indeed over. Since it is November 30th for only two more hours, and since I don't have a 50,000 word manuscript sitting in front of me, it is safe to say that I will not reach my goal of completing this year's NaNoWriMo competition. I am bummed, but I did have a lot of stuff go down in the past few weeks that have made novel writing I a luxury that I really didn't have time for. I still am working on my novel and over Thanksgiving break I did manage to get my word count up to 12k! I may not have won NaNoWriMo but I have won many moral victories. I finally am actually writing rather that sitting around saying, hmmm I should write something. I have a work I am proud of and am committed to finishing. I really like the way it is going and it is really starting to take off. I'm getting into the meat of my story and can't wait to see where it takes me. I hope all of you like it as well.

I plan on keeping Sancho's Notebook up and running. I won't be posting daily like I tried to for NaNoWriMo, but I will post my progress fairly regularly. Over Thanksgiving I went back and rewrote and edited a lot of what I had already written in addition to adding a lot of new stuff, so I will post the most recent and complete version of my draft tomorrow for all to behold.

Regrettfully Yours,
Sancho

The RIght of Every Man

2004-11-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

So, if you are actually reading this post then saints alive the Internet is working for more than 2 minutes. Yes I am officially not a fan of Comcast and their so called "Internet" for like the past 3 weeks the Internet, much like Charlie from Flowers For Algernon, is becoming increasingly more stupid. Last night it literallywould work for 1 minute then shut off and can't find a connection for 20 or 30 minutes at a time. The only thing that remotely fixes it is to leave the modem unplugged for about ten minutes then hook it back up. Then I might be able to squeeze about 2 minutes of surfing time before the web screeches to a grinding halt.

That, dear reader, is why I haven't been able to update lately. I have much I want to tell you about, but I have to deal with this first. I've lost many a post when the Internet freezes in the middle of publishing. Even as a type I keep one eye on the cable modem lights waiting for a sign of failure. So I am off to call Comcast and get a new modem.. or die trying.

I do have big news and fun things to post, but alas that will have to wait...

Give me Broadband or give me death,
Sancho

I am a 10 Year Old Girl

2004-11-24T17:48:00.000-07:00

So last night I decided to be a good boyfriend and settle down with Lisa to watch "Samantha: An American Girl Holiday", a movie based on the American Girl books that Lisa was a huge fan of. What I wasn't counting on was the fact that I really enjoyed the movie...then went ont he web and looked up all of the books...

"Meet Jeremy",
Sancho

Worth A Thousand Words

2004-11-23T18:41:00.000-07:00

So as you can see, I have now introduced a wonderful new element to my web page: photos! Thanks to the wonder of the "Hello" program, I can get glorious pictures of me, my friends and anything else I deem photogenic. The only problem is I don't have a digital camera, so when I deem something photo-worthy, I have to wait until I fill up a roll of film then wait two days for it to develop (because I am too poor to develop film with the one hour method).

"But Jeremy, I need your pictures now! I cannot wait! What can I do to expedite this process?"

Well funny you should ask dear reader, I just happen to have updated my wish list to include many tasty gift morsels including a rather spiffy digital camera. So, since the holiday season is steadily approaching and the need to give to others is strong and since I now officially live below the poverty line, feel free to make my holiday, just a little bit brighter.

Actually in all seriousness since the holidays are approaching and there are a lot of kids out there who are in need, don't forget about Child's Play, a place where you can help out kids who are really in need. Then after you do that, you can buy me something.

Hmm…too bad I can’t put a car window on that wish list…

Baby Its Cold Outside,
Sancho

I think its time for an Introduction

2004-11-22T11:56:00.000-07:00

Hi, my name is Jeremy, and this is my blog. And this is an old picture.

Bottom, as in Rock

2004-11-20T02:08:00.000-07:00

So did you ever get the feeling that sometimes what you need in life is just a big change, something new to sink your teeth in? Well if you have ever thought that, I have one piece of advice for you: Stop thinking that, you idiot.

Judging by my rosy attitude and witty repartee you can probably guess that I am having a big change in my life. Yes I am, and I can tell you this: it is not all its cracked up to be. Before I go much further I should make it known that everything going on in my life is the direct result of my irresponsibility and blatant stupidity and therefore I have no right to complain, but I will anyway. Why? Because I can, and that is what the Internet is for, isn’t it?

I guess the best place to start all of this is to explain exactly what led up to all of this. The Cliff Notes version is that for the last 3 or so years I have been a complete idiot with my finances. I've slowly been getting in over my head in terms of debt and within the last couple of weeks I have pretty much thrown away my life jacket and doused myself in steak sauce and offered my self to the sharks. Just one stupid choice after the other.

Sound bad? Yeah, it is, but that's not all. For some reason this semester I never really got into school...and by "got into" I mean, "went to any". I really can't explain it. This semester I've had some of the best classes I've been able to take in college and yet I just threw it all away. Its very disheartening to know that I've wasted a semester's worth of time and money and I'm not even sure why.

So now that you know the background flashback to last weekend. This is when the severity of my financial woes and my steadily approaching report car chock full of "F's" all hit me in one shocking and violent realization:

>KAPOW!!!< ..blink, blink... WHOA! I'm screwed!!!

So after thinking everything over, I've decided the best (and pretty much only) thing for me to do in order to salvage anything is to withdraw from school and get a full time job. I wasn't going to pass this semester anyway, and I can't even afford monthly expenses as things are now, let alone the Ruben Studdard sized credit debt I have. I need to work for a while to try and get caught up and get some sort of plan in place before I can go back to school. Rest assured, I am going back. Being in theatre is the only thing I'm good at, there is no way I'm going to pass up my chance to make that my life. I just have to pay for my mistakes and fix a few things before I can resume that path. I don't exactly have all the details worked out, but I have a direction, and I think I can do this.

This means, sadly I will be leaving Victoria's Secret. I'll miss it, but I don't know how much longer I can go on pretending that all of my co-workers aren't REALLY, REALLY, hot in order to remain professional (and in order to remain not beat up by Lisa).

Now I know what you're probably thinking, "well it sounds like you have been going through some tough times, but you know what you need to do to get back on track. I bet things are looking up, aren't they?"

Well I wish I could say yes, but sadly God hates me. On Wednesday, in the height of my what-the-hell-am-I-going-to-do-with-my-life? crying game I went out to my car and what did I find? Some bastard thieves from hell broke my window and stole my CD player! Right out of the car! And to cut you off at the pass, No, I didn't even leave my faceplate in. It was safely hidden in my center counsel. These bandits have the unadulterated bravado to break into my car on the CHANCE that there might be a faceplate somewhere in my car. So now I have no stereo and now passenger side window because (as noted above) I have no money to fix it. And it's November and cold. Isn't that great? I mean, isn't that just kick- you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic?

So my life has certainly been exciting as of late, but things could always be worse.

By the way, my recent drama accounts for the lack of updates on Sancho's Notebook. I still very much want to finish my novel for NaNoWriMo, but other pressing matters have been taking up my time. I'm still going to kick things into overdrive when I can, but I make no promises to get it done by November 30th. It will be finished eventually, sooner rather than later.

So that's my life. Fun things abound. How was your day?

I've seen better days,
Sancho

Not for the Faint of Heart

2004-11-08T11:27:00.000-07:00

So while helping Lisa with a project for one of her education classes, we were reading course descriptions from various high schools around the state. At one school, they have a separate curriculum of core classes for those students who are learning English. These classes are considered "sheltered" meaning they are called for example "Sheltered American History" or "Sheltered Economics". Now I saw those titles and didn't know they had anything to do with English Language Acquisition, I just thought they were classes for the naive or those in denial. Can't you picture it, showing up for Sheltered US History? "Okay class, from 1939 - 1945...NOTHING HAPPENED"

I guess you had to be there...

Things sound funnier in my head
Sancho

The "Secret" is Out

2004-11-06T10:41:00.000-07:00

So, it is Saturday, and I was up at 6:00 am? Why would I do something like that to myself? No, no I'm not that much of a masochist... Come to think of it, I'm not a masochist to any degree, but I digress. I was up so early because I had to report to work for a sales meeting at 7:00am. 7:00am?? WTF Mate? I suppose it was worth it.. I did get paid and I got a free brassiere, so who I am I to complain?

Oh, that's right, I'm male. And besides the fact that my gender makes a free bra paltry compensation for getting up so damn early, it also apparently means that I am utterly clueless and therefore the prime target for unethical sales practices. Confused? Allow me to illuminate:

At a certain national women's intimate apparel chain, the holiday season has officially begun. Because of that, we are expecting a lot more traffic than we are accustomed to. In order to handle the increased traffic, our parent company has decided to give us some sales tips. Since it is the gift-giving season, it is expected that a lot more people will come into our store looking to buy for other people. In the eyes of my employer, it is essential to get these gift buyers to purchase as much as possible. That is not an unreasonable retail expectation. Besides training us on how to expand sales, we received a special training guide on how to sell to that most clueless of groups: MEN.

GASP! Men in a national women's intimate apparel chain?? How ever did these grunting beasts even manage to operate an automobile to get to the store. You see, to my employers, men are not simply a demographic unfamiliar with the product, they are ripe suckers easily manipulated. If a man enters our store, it is not our job to educate him about our product, rather it is our job to pile him high with items he may or may not want, and push him off in the direction of the cash register. This may be a slight hyperbole, but the principle is the same. It is our job to "tell vs. sell" to male clients.

While I do understand that most men are not familiar with the products we offer and that these men require and sometimes demand extensive assistance, I heartily disagree with the company's attitude towards their ignorance. If a woman walked into a hardware store and was unfamiliar with the product and the sales team took advantage of that unfamiliarity to rack up dollars there would be an obvious outcry. I am not naive enough to think that does not happen, however I seriously doubt that there are specific company-sanctioned guides printed with such tactics blatantly outlined. At my company, these questionable tactics are no "Secret".

Gender Equality is our "opportunity"
Sancho

P.S. I'm counting on the fact that no one important reads my website, but watch this post get me dooced.

Writng is Hard Work

2004-11-05T21:36:00.000-07:00

...Especially when Mother Internet. isn't cooperating. Anyways, not much of note happening around here. I've been NaNoWriMo-ing all week and that has pretty much taken up the bulk of my time. I'm trying to come up with some witty update for this site, but well, I'm too darn lazy... and tired. You work with bras for 6 hours and see how witty you are...Hmm let's not think aobut that.

Oh, but I am a quasi-media sensation. The Greeley Tribune has written up an article about NaNoWriMo complete with a rather unremarkable contribution from me. I can't complain though, I mean, I'm in the paper! Are you? Well, are you?

I'm taking today off from writing my novel, I'm tired dammit, but fear not I will make it up on the weekend!

Oh and in a completely unrelated note, I saw the Star Wars Episode III trailer, and yes, it did rock the entire casbah, and possibly the lobster.

Made with Good Ol' Fashion Know How,
Sancho

Technical Difficulties

2004-11-04T11:15:00.000-07:00

Why do we have an amazing technology like the internet if it can't work perfectly all the time! I have had great difficulty connecting to Blogger and to the internet in general as of late, which would account for the lack of posting on both of my sites. This post is a crapshoot as to whether it will even show up on the 'net. Needless to say we have our best people working on this situation and very soon you will be inindated with updates here and eslewhere!

Grumble, Grumble
Sancho

One Down, Twenty-Nine To Go!

2004-11-01T23:19:00.000-07:00

Well I've managed to get off to a good start, the first day of NaNoWriMo is in the books, and I am a bit ahead of schedule. Read my progress here. Normally I'll restrict my writing and comments and relfections about my writing to Sancho's Notebook, but I thought today I'd make a general annoucnement here on the Island.

There is one more bit of exciting news that merrits placement on my main page. I'm going to be in the newspaper! Some how, someone at the Greeley Tribune got wind of my participation in NaNoWriMo and interviewed me as a bit of a human interest story. It will appear in Friday's edition, so pick one up. I'll also link to the article here. I don't know if the piece is a cute encouraging story or one designed to mock me if a fail to meet the 50,000 word dead line, but it doesn't matter, I'm going to be in the paper! Either way, hopefully the story will bring some traffic to my sites, even if its morbid curiousity like when one witnesses a bad car accident...

On the cover of the Rolling Stone,
Sancho

Trick or Treat!

2004-10-31T14:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween! It's a time for scary things and what is more scarier than William Shatner Singing?? Well to be honest, on his new CD Captian Kirk himself doesn't actually sing, and its acutally not that scary. I would even dare say its pretty good. How can that be you ask? Well for one, Shatner teams up with Ben Folds, who is decidedly good at music. They arranged and wrote the songs together, so to start out with they have a firm musical base. The songs themselves are for the most part good, and Shatner's vocal delivery is strangley satisfying. This CD is truly an experience one must undertake to understand its greatness. I was a non-believer and now I'll be damned if I can't get the songs out of my head and the CD out of my player. Trust me, just listen to the samples on amazon.com and you'll see what I mean.

Always can do one more,
Sancho

NaNoWriMo

2004-10-30T19:25:00.000-07:00

So the wait is over, I am unveiling a new wing to the Island: Sancho's Notebook! I am one of the brave souls competing in this year's NaNoWriMo event, which is geek-speak for National Novel Writing Month. The challenge is to write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. I figured it sounded like fun so I am giving it a try. Now I know you are thinking "Hey, you can't manage to keep this blog updated, how do you expect to write 1667 words a day, loser?" Well to that I have.. well I have nothing to say because quite frankly, I have no idea either. We'll find out together. So be supportive, read my progress and (hopefully) enjoy my werewolf novel "A Better Moon."

And you thought I was done with werewolves...

The pen is mightier,
Sancho

I'm Back (but not necessarily in Black)

2004-10-28T17:55:00.000-07:00

So I have been noticeably absent from the Island for a while. Don't worry, I still ove my adoring fans, I've just been pretty busy. How busy you ask? Well here's what has transpired since my last update:

First and foremost, I watched the Red Sox dominate the Yankees and the Cardinals! World Champs, Baby!!
I've finished my run as Charlie Baker in "The Foreigner". Overall it was a good experience. I got the chance to play the role of my dreams for three weeks, so I didn't care of the turnout was small. Which is a good thing, because the turnout was SMALL. (Editor's Note: Since you can no longer "Come See My Play", I have replaced that link with one where you can donate to Child's Play. So do it!)
I discovered my new favorite CD by none other than William Shatner, yes, that William Shatner. (Don't worry that will merit it's own post later.)
I FINALLY beat Star Wars Knights of the Old Republic with the Dark Side ending. I thought beating the game would finally allow me to focus on some other games I've been wanting to play. Actually all beating the game did was make me want to beat it again with the light side ending.
I also beat that old school favorite Sonic The Hedgehog 2. I've only been trying for 9 years.
I got really sick, almost got better and then got sick again. Curse my inadequate immune system!
Took my ex-landlord to small claims court.
Got very high A's on two tests, much to the chagrin of my classmates who actually prepared...suckers.

So as you can see, I've been quite active around here. I do still have one surprise project brewing. Stay tuned to the Island for a very exciting announcement in the near future.

Child's Play

2004-10-15T09:46:00.000-07:00

I think it is safe to say that having this website, and being a part of the internet community in general has always been something of a comical diversion from everyday life for me. I know there are a lot of serious and practical uses for the internet, but for the most part I try to stay away from them. The internet has been a way for me (and millions of other people) to relax, play games and look at naked ladies. Starting my own site was mainly to give me the chance to train myself to write everyday and once in a while make me feel like I'm witty.

There are two other guys who have a site on this nifty internet that have made a career for themselves by being witty. These gentlemen are to some degree my idols. Gabe and Tycho of Penny Arcade have been entertaining me and my friends for two years now, but they have had a massive following for longer than that. Their humor, both in their comics and in their posts is something I can only hope to be compared to. Now, for the second year in a row, Gabe and Tycho are taking the internet and moving it from a diversion to something practical and noble. Today marks the kick off day for Child's Play. In short, Child's Play is a charity started by Penny Arcade where gamers all over the country can donate toys or money to children's hospitals this holiday season. On the site they offer a more complete history than I will here, but it is important to note that Child's Play was founded as a direct comment to the popular media view that the video game culture is the source of all that is evil (or at least lazy and good for nothing). As a member of this "seedy" group it is particularly satisfying to see that last year Child's Play via gamers nation wide donated over $250,000 to needy kids.

At the moment I am a little too poor to make a contribution myself, but I am working on it. In the mean time I am doing my part to spread the word about this amazing chance to help out. So if you can't afford to donate to Child's Play, tell someone who can: your parents, your friends, your pimp, anyone.

So stop reading my site and go to childsplaycharity.org to help out and read the history of this group.

Tis the season
Sancho

The End is Near

2004-10-14T12:09:00.000-07:00

Not the end of the world (I hope...), but the end of being ridiculously busy. One test is over with, and one more takes place tomorrow. I also have one project due Monday and another due Tuesday. I'm working quite a bit because in the wacky world of retail, its the Holiday Season (phase one of three...). Oh, and this is the final weekend of The Foreinger, so my weekend is pretty much spoken for. And I almost forgot, we have some of Lisa's family staying with us this weekend. I'm surprised I even had time to write this post.... Hmm I probably should be doing something else right now... oh well.

In other news, my views on the merits of Princess Leia in gold swimwear have made it into The Univeristy of Northern Colorado Mirror. Who says I'm not in touch with the issues that affect my culture?

That's all I have time to say for now, but while you are waiting for me to update, you can head over to Cinema 24 and root for Dan and co. to get their loan approved. Don't know what I'm talking about? Then read their archives, they are cool, I promise.

Eight days a week are not enough
Sancho

EDIT: This week's quote is courtesy of the Lovely Little Lisa (my princess)

Hard Hitting Journalism

2004-10-10T12:41:00.000-07:00

One of the highlights (okay, the only highlight) of UNC's student newspaper is the "Geek Chic" column by openly geeky Kelsi Martin. Tackling such topics as Homestar Runner and other staples of Geek live, Martin has now delved into the realm of zombie movies. Read her article here. One quote from the article however, demands comment:

"Think about it, how much cooler would Return of the Jedi have been if Carrie Fisher bit off Jabba the Hutts face? Or how sweet would When Harry Met Sally have been if Carrie Fisher bit off Meg Ryans face? And I think we all can agree that the one thing missing from The Burbs was Carrie Fisher biting off Tom Hanks face. The rule doesnt just apply to Carrie Fisher either. Take any celebrity or life experience and its much cooler with zombies."

While I do agree with Martin most movie experiences would be improved with some face biting ("Look Jack, I'm flying! AHHHHH! You bit off my face!"), there is one example of her list that is flawed. Carrie Fisher as Slave Girl Princess Leia is pretty much the pinnacle of movie making. Nothing, not even good ol' zombie face biting hilarity can top the cinematic mastery that is the daughter of Anakin Skywalker in a gold bikini. Not only a high point for the entire Star Wars saga, the inherit genius of the combination of gold metal and Carrie Fisher will go down in the annals of motion picture history as a definitive moment. Now, if Martin would have said that Drop Dead Fred would have been better Carrie Fisher bit the face off of Phoebe Cates, I would probably agree. The bottom line is this, you cannot improve perfection, and Slave Leia is such perfection. Just ask Ross.

You stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder,
Sancho

Thank You Scott!

2004-10-09T22:19:00.000-07:00

Everyone who wants to can now contact me via my new, supercool and aptly named Gmail adress:

sanchosisland at gmail dot com

How did I get a Gmail account? Well thanks to Scott F. for hooking me up with an invite! And thank you to Emma at caoine.org for organizing a gmail invite swap meet. Now the pupil has become the master, and I have some invites to spare. If anyone needs one, contact me!

Thanks again Scott!

Oh yes, wait a minute Mr. Postman,
Sancho

How to Annoy Sorority Girls

2004-10-08T10:58:00.000-07:00

Drive down the street in front of their house, painfully slow, blasting The Imperial March (from Empire Strikes Back) with all of your windows down while they are doing some sort of sisterhood-building team game on their front lawn.

Obi Wan never told you...
Sancho

Time Flies...

2004-10-06T20:28:00.000-07:00

...when you are really fucking busy. It's been a little bit since my last update, but it certainly has been busy around here. First of all, you might notice a bit of a tweaked look to the Island. I recently found out that some how when I was fiddling with the code for these pages I messed things up royally. If you use IE on a Windows machine you probably never noticed anything, but if you use Firefox (as I have recently switched over to) or Safari on a Mac, then you saw things get all...floopy. Rest assured, I have fixed everything and the Island has returned to its former glory, and then some.

In other news, I am also involved in a production that opened last week. (For any interested in seeing me perform, please click here). Having more than the usual production stress, this show has been a bit of a fiasco. Its a great show, and ended up being a lot of fun, but things have happened. Yes, you heard me, things. I shan't get into everything here and now, mainly because of the Good Actor code, but believe me, when the show is over the dishing will commence (Wow, I sound like a gossiping 80's teenager, don't I?).

Also taking my time has been my job, a little store by the name of Victoria's Secret. Yes its true, I, a card (and penis) carrying member of the male sex, work at Victoria's Secret. Trust me, its not as exciting as you (and I) wish it could be. I basically am shut in the back room unfolding, hanging and steaming wrinkly sleepwear and lingerie. Let me tell you, lingerie ain't that sexy when you see a metric ton of it four hours a night. Well in the wacky world of retail the Christmas holiday is creeping round the corner, so we are already getting a fuck-load (technical retail term, I assure you) of sleepwear in, and it is up to me, humble stock boy to...stock it. So please, for the love of god, come into our store and buy stuff, lots of stuff, I am running out of room back there.

So, as you can see I've been busy. And there is one more thing that has been taking up what little free time I've been having (besides hanging out with Lisa, who I'm sure has been reading this and getting steadily more frustrated that I haven't mention her yet): The Star Wars trilogy on DVD. Its like a drug, I can't stop. Its just so magical. There are a few things about this new version that frustrate me, and I'll talk about that later, but over all between the bonus features and the amazing new picture quality, its been more than enough to keep me entertained.

So that's where I am. I'm still busy, but will be posting soon. Thanks for hanging around.

Let the wookie win,
Sancho